Why does a blond jump off of a 100 story building?
GIVE UP?
To see if here maxie pads really do have wings.
Author: admin
Calculator Tricks….
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Type in 55378007.
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Flip it over. This is what you DO N0T want a woman to be.
Mama teeth
Yo mama’s teeth are so rotton when she smiles it looks like she ate a bag of oreo cookies.
Monica’s Plastic Surgery
The Boston Globe reported today that Monica Lewinsky, depressed after the
media comments about her figure, and wanting a new image, reported to a
plastic surgeon for removal of her love handles.
She emerged two days later with no ears.
Aussie virgin
A madam decides to retire & get married. Her main requirement in a husband is that he be a virgin. She meets an Australian whom she is convinced is a virgin & marries him.
On their honeymoon she says “I’m going to the bathroom & get ready. You get things ready out here.”
When she comes out of the bathroom, he has pushed all the furniture out in the hall.
“Why did you do that?” she asked.
“Well love, I figured if women were anything like kangaroos we’d need all the room we can get”
Just Wear Something
The young bride’s mother had some old fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.”Never let your husband see you in the nude,” she advised.”You should always wear something.””Yes, mother,” replied the obedient girl.Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, “Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?””Not that I know of,” she answered.”Why?”Well, we’ve been married for two weeks now and every night you’ve worn that silly hat to bed.”
A girffe in a a bar
A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR WITH A GIRAFFE AND GETS THE GIRFFE DRUCK AND THE MAN BEHIND THE BAR SAID YOU CANT LEAVE LRYING THERE AND THE MAN SAID IT NOT A LION ITS A GIRFFE.
Una viejecita tiene una hija
Una viejecita tiene una hija que ya esta un poco pasada de edad, y que aun no se ha casado. De repente la hija se siente muy enferma, y su mam� decide llevarla al m�dico.
El medico, tras hacer un estudio minucioso le dice a la viejecita: “Se�ora, su hija se encuentra muy mal.”
“Bueno doctor hay que actuar r�pidamente, d�game, �qu� es lo que tiene mi hija””
“Mire se�ora, a su hija lo que le hace falta es un COITO.”
“Bueno, doctor. Act�e.”
“Pero se�ora, lo que pasa es que yo ya estoy un poco mayor para esto, pero llamemos al enfermero.”
Y proceden a llamar al enfermero: “Enfermero h�game un favor, ll�vese esta se�orita y pract�quele un COITO.”
El enfermero se lleva a la enferma a otra habitaci�n de donde salen ruidos un poco extra�os. Quejidos, alaridos, gemidos, gritos.
Y entre tanto est�n el doctor y la se�ora afuera esperando, y le comenta la se�ora al doctor: “
Mire Doctor, si usted y yo no supieramos lo que es un COITO, yo dir�a que ese enfermero se est� COGIENDO A MI HIJA.
Keyboard: Where
Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.Software: Them plastic eatin’ utensils.Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.
The Fiance
After Leslie brought home her fiance to meet her parents, her father invited
the young man into his study to find out more about him.
“What are your plans?” he asked Joseph.
“I’m a scholar of the Torah,” Joseph replied.
“Well, that’s admirable,” Leslie’s father replied. “But what will you do to
provide a nice house for my daughter?”
“I will study, and God will surely provide for us,” Joseph explained.
“And how will you buy her a nice engagement ring?”
“I will study hard, and God will provide for us.”
“And children?” asked the father. “How will you support children?”
“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replied the fianc�.
The conversation continued in much the same fashion. After Joseph and Leslie
had left, her mother asked her father what he found out.
The father answered, “Well, he has no job and no plans, but the good news is
that he thinks I’m God.”
Osama turns him self in
Osama Bin Laden Calls George Bush and Says,
Osama:I’ve got good news and bad news
Bush:Whats the good news?
Osama:I’m Turning myself in!
Bush:and whats the bad news?
Osama:I’m going in an airplane
Democratic politicians
A woman went to her doctor for advice . . .
. . . She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for
anal sex, and she wasn’t sure it was such a good idea.
The Doctor asked, “Do you enjoy it?”
She said that she did.
He asked, “Does it hurt you?” She said no.
The Doctor then told her, “Well, then, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t
practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get
pregnant.” The woman was mystified.
She asked, “You can get pregnant from anal sex?”
The Doctor replied, “Of course. Where do you think democratic politicians come
from?”