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Client Bill

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A well known rich businessman’s wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $
5000.

The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:

1 screw $1 Knowing how to put it in $4999 $5000 total

The businessman never argued.

I’m Sorry Honey……..

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A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, “I
can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do
you think it is because I am a blonde?” Her mother replied, “Of
couse it is, dear.”

The next day, the blonde said, “I can say the alphabet higher
then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a
blonde?”

Her mother replied, “Of course it is dear!”

The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked
her mother, “I have bigger breasts then all the kids in my
class, do you think its because I am a blonde?”

Her mother replied, “No dear, I’m sorry, I think it is because
you are eighteen years old.”

Newlywed Convent Wife

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A young man, with a promising career ahead of him, decided to marry a respectable convent girl, untarnished with the sins of contemporary society. After the wedding service, the bridal couple had to drive through the more unsavoury areas of the city on the way to the reception. “William, what are those women doing leaning against lampposts?”

“Oh, those are just tarts who hire their bodies out for sex at fifty dollars a time.”

“Wow, fifty dollars!” exclaimed the bride, “the monks only used to give us an apple…”