In order to brighten up the living room we bought a pet fish and an aquarium to put it in. The fish was brightly coloured and I often liked to watch it as it swam contentedly round and round its little rectangular tank of water. It was so friendly and tame that it was happy to take food directly out of my hand. Having an interest in the theories of Charles Darwin, as an experiment one day I decided to see how the fish would adapt to change. So each day I would remove a tablespoonful of the water and replace it with a tablespoonful of seawater. This went on for several months until eventually the fish was happily swimming around in pure seawater.I decided to reverse the process, and each day, I would remove a tablespoonful of seawater from the tank and replaced it with a tablespoonful of fresh water until the water in the tank was completely returned to fresh water. The fish was none the worse for his experience.Encouraged by this success I decided to try a further experiment. Each day I would remove a tablespoonful of the water from the tank to see if the fish could adapt to the changed circumstances of reduced water levels. Although the fish had difficulty adapting at first it was eventually able to lie on the bed of the tank and breath air. Later I decided to move the fish to a disused budgerigar cage and was surprised to see that the fish had adapted to its new circumstances and was cheerfully hopping from perch to perch, ringing the bell, and playing on the swing. The fish lived like this for several months until sadly one day it fell from its perch straight into the bowl of drinking water and drowned.
Author: admin
Water is Important!
Water is importantWe all know that water is important but I’ve never seen it written down like this before.*** 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. *** In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%. One glass of water shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?
Una mujer y su hijita
Una mujer y su hijita van a visitar la tumba de la abuela. Cuando vuelven a la casa, la nenita le pregunta:
“�Mam�, mam�! �A veces entierran a m�s de una persona en una misma tumba?”
“�Por supuesto que no! �de d�nde sacaste esa idea?”
“En la tumba de al lado de la de la abuela dec�a: Aqu� se encuentra enterrado un abogado y una buena persona.”
BBS commandments
The 25 bbs commandments:
1 Thou shall love thy BBS with all thy heart and all thy bytes.
2 Thou shalt remember thy name and password.
3 Thou shalt only call a BBS two times a day.
4 Honor thy SysOp.
5 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s password, nor his or her real name, computer, software, nor any other thing belonging to him or her.
6 Thou shalt not post messages that are stupid, worthless, or have no meaning.
7 Thou shalt use the English language properly.
8 Thou shalt spell thy words correctly when ever possible.
9 Thou shalt delete thine olden messages.
10 Thou shalt help other users.
11 Thou shalt not post anonymously when offering criticism.
12 Thou shalt keep thy foul language to thyself.
13 Woe be unto the user who attempt to crash thy BBS, for he or she shalt be cast out from the sanctuary of thy hobby and must repent by doing 40 days and 40 nights of penance of voice-only communications.
14 Thou shalt first dial BBS numbers during the day by way of voice line to assure correct numbers.
15 Thou shalt not post messages while drunk.
16 Thou shalt confine thy messages to those of friendship, requests for assistance, aid to the needy, advice, and advancement of thy hobby; and thou art obligated to repel any who wouldst transgress upon those commandments.
17 If thou doth promise to reply to a message and thou doth not, then surely thou shalt spill coffee into thy keyboard and burn out thy central processing chip.
18 Thou shalt not giveth any false information when applying for membership to a BBS, for verily it is written that whosoever shall do so will surely be found out and thy welcome on all boards will be thus denied forever and ever.
19 Thou shalt log on properly and in accordance with the SysOp’s rules.
20 Thou shalt observe BBS time limits.
21 Thou shalt not upload “worm” programs.
22 Thou shalt not ask stupid questions that are already fully explained in the BBS instructions.
23 Thou shalt not exchange copy protected software thru the BBS.
24 Thou shalt not violate applicable state/federal/local laws hand regulations affecting BBS telecommunications, or thy will feel the wrath of thy judicial system.
25 Thou shalt not hack.
All my life I said
All my life I said I wanted to be someone…
I can see now that I should have been more specific.
He’s Not Coming Out!
This girl was riding in a car with her boyfriend. She got bored
and said “Every time you speed up 5MPH I’ll take some clothes
off.”
Well, this went on for about 15 minutes until she was naked and
he was going about 95MPH. They lost control of the car and
crashed into a tree.
The guy was hurt pretty badly and his car door was crushed to
the point where he couldn’t open it. His naked girlfriend was
fine and could get out of the car.
So, she took her boyfriend’s shoe and put it in front of her
crotch and covered her chest with her arm. She flagged down a
car. Without thinking she said “HELP MY BOYFRIEND IS STUCK AND
HE CAN’T GET OUT!!”
The guy in the car looked at the shoe on her crotch and his eyes
got really big. He said “If he is that far in, he’s not coming
out!”
Q: How many cafeteria
Q: How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I’ve just cashed up.
The Top 16 Signs Baseball Spring Training Has Started
16> The air is filled with the gentle “twang” of pulled groin muscles.
15> 48 states dealing with shortage of hookers and cliches.
14> Police abandon strict enforcement of harsh “No Pepper” laws.
13> A lonely Marge Schott once again combs Florida bars for an eligible White Supremacist to bed.
12> South American drug cartels shift to round-the-clock production schedules.
11> Bat construction industry shifts from “spouse beating bats” to “baseball bats.”
10> Business up 4000% at the Ft. Lauderdale Hooters.
9> Morganna the Gumming Bandit is sighted doing wind sprints.
8> Thirty injured in whirlwind created by frenzy of sports reporters sucking up to Ken Griffey, Jr.
7> El Nino floodwaters: clear. Tobacco juice floodwaters: brown. It ain’t rocket science, Chester.
6> Pete Rose sends Hall of Fame voting members the FTD “Let-Me-In” Bouquet.
5> The Florida Marlins trade Gary Sheffield for Harry Caray.
4> Your hubby can’t get aroused unless you “bend over and sweep home plate” first.
3> Stadium hot dog vendors gleefully skim the scum off last year’s weenie water.
2> Dwight Gooden finally begins to stir from his New Year’s Eve stupor.
1> George Will’s sphincter relaxes to nearly-human dimensions.
Closer to the ground
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Submitted Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Get it Straight
A cop pulls over a drunk driver. The drunk driver says, “Ossssifer, you need to get your records straight. You just asked me for my license, but you took it away yesterday!”
Question and answer Clinton joke
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.
The Big Shake-up!
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!
The CEO, walks up the guy and asks – “and how much money do you make a week?”
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $
200.00 a week. Why?”
The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams – “here’s a week’s pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!”
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks – “does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?”
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters – “Pizza delivery guy”.