A guy goes to the doctor with a mysterious pain and tells the doctor,
“Doctor, my penis has been burning lately.”
And the doctor said reassuringly, “Don’t worry son, that just means someone is talking about it.”
Author: admin
Knock Knock 9
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Allied!
Allied who?
Allied, so sue me!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alma!
Alma who?
Alma-ny Knock Knock
jokes can you take!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alma!
Alma who?
Alma not going to tell you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Almond!
Almond who?
Almond the side of the law!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alpaca!
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the trunk, you pack the suitcase!
Deep Cuts
Doctor, don’t cut so deep. That’s the third operating table you’ve ruined this month!
Jus becase Im A Blonde Dont Meen im Stupid!
A blind man walked into A womens bar.He asked the bartender”do you wanna hear a blond joke?” the bar tender replied “I just wanted to let you know before you go on with your blond joke that the women beside you is a blond heavy weight champion,the blond on the other side of you is a blond boxer,and I am a blond body builder.I just wanted to make sure you knew this before you went on with your joke.Do you still want to?” the blind man got up and replied “No because I dont want to have to repeat it three times!” with that he walked out.
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A blonde was sitting in a canoe in the middle of a wheat feild. A SUV drove up next to the field and an other blonde stepped out. “Its blondes like you that give other blondes a bad name. So im gonna swim out there and tip over your canoe.”
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“Some say blondes have more fun…But take it from a blond like me.Running into walls repeatedly isnt as fun as it looks!”
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Three women had been captured by Nazi soldiers and were to be executed. The soldiers lined them up on a brick wall and they aimed at the first one wich was a brunett.
The General said “Any last words?” she shook her head. He then shouted “READY, AIM…” but the woman interrupted him. “Wait, wait, wait, flood” she shouted pointing behind them. all the soldiers looked behind them and then she ran away.
They sent some soilders after her and went on to the red head.They repeated this and got to the “READY , AIM…..” the redhead interupted with “HURRICANE!” the soldiers looked behind them and she ran away.The general got mad and sent three men after her.He got to the blonde and said “Eny last words?” she shook her head.The genereal shouted “READY AIM…” “Wait!I have a last word….FIRE!” she shouted..The general laughed and did just that.
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Just so than non of you blondes out there reading this are offended.I myself am a blonde to.And Im proud of it!
Micorave/TV
one day a blonde walks into a store and asks the employee for the TV and he says he doesnt sell to blondes. so that night she dyes her hair brown and comes back and asks the guys for the TV and again he says he doesnt sell to blondes. so that night she shaves off her hair and comes back and asks the guy for the TV and he says ” i dont sell to blondes”” and she asks the guy how he knew she was a blonde. he said because that is a micorave not a TV.
“
Yo mamma
Yo Mamma is so fat, she plays pool with the planets
A dumb robber … true story
A robber robs a store and doesnt notice te camera so hes at the cash and tells the cashier to give him the money and all the beef jerkey. Then he asked for some alcohol and the cashier says “well i’ll need some id before i give this to you”” so the guy yells”” give me it”” then the cashier says””id!”” so the robber pulls out his drivers license and gives it to the cashier he was caught 10 minutes later (lol)
“
Demian’s Observation: There is
Demian’s Observation: There is always one item on the screen menu that is mislabeled and should read “Abandon hope all ye who enter here”.
Crazy For It Riddle
What is six inches long, two inches wide, has a head on it, and
women are crazy for it?
Money!!!
The Top 16 Chapters in “Sex for Dummies”
16> Evolution 101: Why Dummies Might Actually Make Poor Sex Partners
15> Troubleshooting for Do-It-Yourselfers (NOTE: Memorize this chapter *before* you go blind.)
14> Oh, God! Yes!! Oh, God! OH, GOD!!!: The Missionary Position
13> Starting Out: Am I a Tab A or a Slot B?
12> Engineering Secrets of the Bra: Removal in 14 Simple Steps
11> The Face: How to Tell Your Lover Apart from All Those Other People
10> Chapter 4: No, You Don’t *Actually* Blow
9> Stop Masturbating, She’s Real!
8> You’re Britney, I’m Strom: Introduction to Role Playing
7> Foreplay: Not Just for Her Birthday, Chester
6> Putting a Condom on a Banana is Just for *Practice*, Dumbass
5> Crouching Doggie and Hidden Missionary: A Guide to Sexual Positions
4> “Alternate” Lifestyles: Pokeman?
3> Hey! Watch Those Teeth, Vampira!!
2> Sexual Physics: The Round Peg/Round Hole Theory
1> Chapter 1: Mayor McWeiner and the Clamburglar
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]Una adolescente, que se siente
Una adolescente, que se siente mal de salud, va con su padre al m�dico.
El profesional despu�s examinarla le dice:
“Mira, lo que te ocurre es que est�s embarazada”.
La joven le mira asustada y exclama:
“�No puede ser, si mi padre se entera de esto me mata! �No se lo puedo decir!”
El galeno la tranquiliza dici�ndole que no se preocupe, que �l le dir� a su progenitor. Sale del consultorio y se encuentra con el pap�.
“Doctor, �qu� le pasa a mi hija?”
“Mire se�or, su hija se ha tragado una medalla de la virgen. La medalla y la virgen se la hemos sacado, pero no al ni�o… no ha habido manera.”
TOP TEN SIGNS NO ONE WANTS TO BE YOUR VALENTINE…
TOP TEN SIGNS NO ONE WANTS TO BE YOUR VALENTINE
10. You ain’t a Gingrich, but your nickname’s “Newt”
9. The last time you got laid was during the Eisenhower Administration
8. You spend your vacation chasin’ lizards
7. You get a heart-filled box filled with angry hornets
6. The babes just don’t seem to go for your homemade Star Trek uniform
5. You have one of them handsome Ito beards — and you’re a woman
4. Fox is starting a new show about you: “America’s Least Wanted”
3. You’re taking private tutorials with Joycelyn Elders
2. Phone sex operators keep hanging up on you
1. The Pope asks you for tips on celibacy