Author: admin

A proper English gentleman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did.

Before he left, he told the girl that he didn’t have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment `Rent for Apartment’.

On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note:

Dear Madam, Enclosed find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:
1. It bad never been occupied;
2. There was plenty of heat; and
3. It was small enough to make me cozy and at home.
Last night, however, I found out that it bad been previously occupied, that there wasn’t any heat and that it was entirely too large.

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following letter.

Dear Sir, First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the landlady.

It’s a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He’s wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt. The zoo is not very busy this morning.As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes ape. (No pun intended)He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife teases the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along.She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.”Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him.” he says…. this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he’s doing flips.Then the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut.”Now, tell HIM you have a headache.”