President Bush is in the hot seat over Iraqi pre-war intelligence.
Remember the good ol’ days when the only thing the president was trying to cover up was a stain?
—Craig Kilborn
Author: admin
Monica Lewinsky entered the White
Monica Lewinsky entered the White House to see Clinton’s personal
secretary.
Hey, if that’s what he wants to call it.
He usually calls it his Chief of Staff.
YO mama so fat…
Yo mama so fat that when I drove around her, I ran out of gas.
Naive young girl
A naive young girl from a small town was visiting friends in San Francisco.
She phoned her mom to let her know how she was getting along.
“Things are rather strange here. I see men who hold hands, kiss and hug each other. They’re called ‘gays’ or homosexuals.
Even more surprising, there are women here who do the same things and they are referred to as ‘lesbians’.
You probably won’t believe this, but some men here put their heads down on a woman’s private parts and do things with their tongues.”
“Good Lord,” her mom said, “what do they call them?”
“Well, after I caught my breath I called one of them PRECIOUS!”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Kay!Kay who?Kay sera
Knock KnockWho’s there?Kay!Kay who?Kay sera sera!
Tonto & Buffalo
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding on the range one day. The two came to a stop, where Tonto jumped off his horse and put his head on the ground to listen to see if anyone was coming. After a few seconds he rose and said “Buffalo come.”The Lone Ranger was amazed and proclaimed “Damn you Indians are smart, how the hell did you know there were buffaloes coming?” Tonto replied, “Face sticky.”
Dribble Martini
A lady stumbles into a bar. She says, “Beertender, give me a dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it.”
He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
She says, “Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it.” He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
She says, “Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and you better put two pickles in it, because..because I’ve got heartburn.”
The bartender says, “Look, lady…it’s not beertender, it’s bartender. It’s not a martuni, it’s a martini. It’s not a dribble, it’s a double. That’s not a pickle, it’s an onion. And you haven’t got heartburn, “You have your left tit in the Ashtray!”
Honey
A man is recently separated from his wife, and gets drunk. It’s the dead of winter and he staggers to their house and starts pounding on the door.
After about fifteen minutes, she finally opens a window and asks what he wants.
“Honey! I’m half froze, can’t I stay here tonight?”
“Yes, of course. I thought you wanted to come in!”
Bumper Sticker #117
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
Yaw Want to Find Jesus?
A drunk man stumbled into a church where there were baptisms being performed.
The priest noticed him and asked him if he wanted to find Jesus.
“Sure,” said the drunken man.
“I’ll find Jesus.”
So the priest took the drunken man’s head and dunked it into the baptismal
waters. When he came up for air, he was sputtering and coughing.
“Damn,” said the drunken man.
“Are you sure he fell in there?”
Bullets in a cake
One day there was a grandmother, her 2 grandaughters, and her grandson and they were baking a cake. And as they were baking the cake their grandmother accidently put bullets in the cake, but she said that it will be ok. And so they finished the cake and the grandchildren ate it and a couple hours later her first grandaughter came downstairs and told her grandmother that she had peed out a bullet. Then a couple minuets later her second grandaughter came down and said grandma grandma I peed out a bullet. Then her grandson came down a couple minuets later and said grandma grandma guess what. and his grandma said let me guess you peed out a bullet too. Then, the grandon said no, I was jacking off and i shot the dog.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Sacha!Sacha who?Sacha fuss,
Knock KnockWho’s there?Sacha!Sacha who?Sacha fuss, just because I knocked on your door!