yo kids is so ugly when they was born the doctor caught a heart attack
Author: admin
Seashells
I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the
beaches of the world…perhaps you’ve seen it.
Cheerleaders
What does a teakettle and a cheerleader have in common?
When they get hot there both perkey.
Retiring Accountant
Q: What’s a shy and retiring accountant?
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s/she’s retiring.
Vice Presidents
How do you get 20 vice presidents in a mini-van?
Promote one and watch the other 19 crawl up his ass.
confusion!
How do u confuse a blonde…?
U put her in a round room and tell her that the vibrator is in
the corner!
Pick your favorite
“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling.
Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face.
If you have a small child traveling
with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.
If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”
That Hurts
Man Walks into a bar.
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OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Viagra
Do you know what happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
He gets taller.
Your Kind of Man
Striking up a conversation with the attractive woman seated beside him on a coast-to-coast flight, a would-be Romeo asked, “What kind of man are you attracted to?”
“I’ve always been drawn to Native American men,” she replied. “They’re in harmony with nature.”
“I see,” said the man, nodding.
“But, then, I really go for Jewish men who put women on a pedestal, and I can rarely resist the way Southern gentlemen treat their ladies with respect.”
“Please allow me to introduce myself,” said the man.
“My name is Tecumseh Goldstein, but all my friends call me Bubba.”
Controlin your speed
Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
It’s usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
Colleges for White House Interns
Ever since Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky, the White House
interns can only come from four colleges: Oral State, Ball State,
Moorehead College and Bringham Young.