Yours Fun Portal !
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Chuck!
Chuck who?
Chuck and see if the door is locked!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Chuck!
Chuck who?
Chuck in a sandwich for lunch!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cicero!
Cicero who?
Cicero the boat ashore!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cigarette!
Cigarette who?
Cigarette life if you don’t weaken!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Clara!
Clara who?
Clara space on the table!
Man you need to tell your momma to stop wearing that rainbow colored lipstick because i got a rainbow around my dick.
Yor mama’s so poor I saw her kicking a can down the road and I asked her
what she was doing and she said, “Moving.”
Q: Why does Clinton always have a stupid grin on his face?A: He is stupid!
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”
“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
Q: What kind of bird can write?A: A PENguin.
As soon as she had finished parochial school, a bright young girl named Lena
shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where
before long; she became a successful performer in show business.
Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night
went to confession in the church which she had always attended as a child.
In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her
about her work. She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he
wanted to know what that meant. She said she would be happy to show him the
kind of thing she did on stage. She stepped out of the confessional and
within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels,
leaping splits, handsprings and backflips.
Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged
ladies. They witnessed Lena’s acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the
other: “Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is given’ out this
night, and me without me bloomers on!”
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive ?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds ?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii ?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes ?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there ?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime ?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations ?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings ?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year,
Why are there locks on the doors ?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose ?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon,
How do they make Teflon stick to the pan ?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height,
What would happen ?
If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light,
What happens when you turn on the headlights ?
You know how most packages say “Open Here.”
What is the protocol if the package says, “Open Somewhere Else ?”
Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM ?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways ?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it;s called cargo ?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes,
Why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance ?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Two men were driving down a city street, as they approach a red stop light, the man driving speeds up and drives through a red light.
Shocked, the passenger yells, “What are you doing!”
The driver just responds in a casual tone, “That’s the way my brother drives.”
As they continue down the street, they again came upon another red stop light and again the drive speeds through the intersection.
Again the passenger yells, “What are you doing!”
The driver says, “That’s the way my brother drives”.
Not too long after that, they came upon a green light.
The driver quickly slams on his breaks and comes to a complete stop just before the intersection.
The angry passenger screams, “It’s a green light!”
The driver says, “Yes, but my brother might be coming the other way!”
An American came over to Ireland, the home of his ancestors.
He was watching a farmer pick potatoes and he shouted over to him, “Do you
know, in America, we grow potatoes this big?” Gesturing his hands about a
18 inches apart.
The farmer casually looked up and said, “Well, we grow them to fit our
mouths as well!”
How many Polish people does it take to put in a new lightbulb????
10-one to hold the lightbulb and the rest to turn him.
16. To avoid confusion, staff reverts back to referring to Madelaine Albright by name.
15. New “doggy door” makes it that much easier to sneak out a midnight run to McDonald’s.
14. At long last, Bill won’t have to flinch *every* time he hears “Bad boy.”
13. President no longer the only one accused of burying his bone in someone else’s yard.
12. “Bitch” label now somewhat ambiguous.
11. Accusations of crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President.
10. New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree.
9. Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note reading “Bil kilt Vyns Fosdr!”
8. Shouts of “Come!” from Lincoln bedroom no longer make Hillary suspicious.
7. Chelsea drops to #2 on the White House Pug-Ugly List.
6. Pipe and slipper retrieval removed from Al Gore’s daily to-do list.
5. Roger Clinton no longer the only one to piddle in the Rose Garden.
4. Cries of “What a dog!” no longer make Janet Reno burst into tears at State dinners.
3. To the embarrassment of the trainers, dog still unable to tell Al Gore from a tree.
2. “Get that horny furball off my leg!” no longer refers exclusively to the President.
1. Campaign donors staying overnight in the Lincoln Bedroom now find complimentary Tootsie Rolls on their pillows.