Author: admin

Best excuses if you get caught sleeping in your cubicle…

It’s okay…I’m still billing the client.

“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time-management course you sent me to.

I was working smarter, not harder.

“Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper”

“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”

This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!

I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance

I’m in the management training program

Actually doing a “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan” (SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss made you attend.

This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamt about work!

“I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?”

Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

The coffee machine is broke…. Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.

Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!

It worked well for Reagan, didn’t it?

I was cross-training for telecommuting.

Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!

Wasn’t sleeping. Was trying to pick up contact lens without hands.

The mailman flipped out and took out a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.

I thought you(boss) were gone for the day.

There are three hunters in the woods. At the same time they all feel them self get shot in the ass with a dart.

When they woke up they are all bare ass with there butts in the air. There is a tribe around them bowing down and worshipping them saying
oooooooohhhhhhhhh ooooohhhhhhhh ooooooooohhhhhhh oooooohhhhhh.

The tribe goes silent and they all split. A chief walks between the crowd.

The chief goes up to the first guy and says “You have two choice death, or Boondah”.

The man thinks in his head “Well i don’t want to die so i guess
Boondah”. So he tells the chief he wants Boondah.

So the chief turns around to the crowd and says “Boondah”.

Immediately the tribe runs in and starts fucking the guy in the ass, all of them. This guy is out.

So the chief goes up to the second guy and says “You have two choice death or Boondah”.

So the guy thinks for a second and says “Well at least ill live
to tell about it and you know maybe the tribe is tired so, Boondah”.

So the chief turns around to the tribe and says “Boondah”

The tribe splits and a whole new tribe comes in and starts doing him in the ass and after they are done the first tribe comes and does the same. This guy is out, his ass cheeks are sagging he is just out of it.

Before the chief gets to the third guy, the man already knows that he wants to be killed.

So the chief comes up to him and says “You have two choice death or Boondah”.

The man says “There is no way in hell your there pulling three tribes on me. I choose death, kill me now just get it over with”.

So the chief turns around to the crowd and says “Death by Boondah”.

“Skipper,” the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, “a special message just came in for you from the admiral. I have it right here.” “Read it to me,” the captain ordered. The sailor read, “You are without a doubt the most idiotic, lame-brained officer ever to command a ship in the United States Navy.”The skipper responded, “Have that communication decoded at once!”