May a weird customs inspector discover a secret compartment in your sister.
— Johnny Carson
Author: admin
On successive charts of the
On successive charts of the same organization, the number of boxes will never decrease.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Dummy!Dummy who?Dummy a
Knock KnockWho’s there?Dummy!Dummy who?Dummy a favour and go away!
Have you seen
Have you seen the movie constipated asked one man no said the other man then the first man said thats because it hasent come out yet!!
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Q. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A. Spot.
Dinner
If I could have Thanksgiving dinner with anyone dead or or alive I would choose:
alive
Trying to fix a clock
Harvey’s grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop. In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Harvey, “Vat sims to be ze problem?” Harvey says, “I’m not sure, but it doesn’t go ‘tick-tocktick -tock’ anymore. Now it just goes ‘tick…tick…tick.'” The old man says, “Mmm-Hm!” and steps behind the counter, where he rummages around a bit. He emerges with a huge flashlight and walks over the grandfather clock. He turns the flashlight on, and shines it directly into the clocks face. Then he says in a menacing voice, “Ve haf vays of making you tock!”
How to Annoy People at Work
1)Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99
copies.
2) Practice making fax and modem noises.
3) During meetings, disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the cartridge
across the room.
4) Staple papers in the middle of the page.
5) ALWAYS TYPE WITH CAPS-LOCK ON.
6) type only in lower case.
7) dontuseanypunctuationorspaceseither
8) while making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.”
10) Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers
in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”
White House.
Former U.S. President George Bush said he would like to see his son, Governor
George W. Bush, in the White House.
Polls, however, indicate that the public is fed up with the Monica Lewinsky
scandal and does not want to see any more Bush in the White House.
Rude Little Jimmy
There was a little boy called jimmy who was 1 year old and his grandma and grandad were coming for lunch.his dad was in the kichen with jimmy carving the chicken jimmy asked him what he was doing his dad cut him self and said shit. so jimmy went up stairs to his mum who was her make up jimmy asked her what she was doing she went wrong and said fuck.jimmy went down stairs for a while.About half an hour later his mum and dad were having a aguement his dad called his mum a bitch so she called him a bastard.After that his dad was putting up the coats jimmy asked him what he was doing the coats fell down and he sai crap.The doorbell rang jimmy awnsered and said hello bitches and basterds may i take your crap mums up stairs fucking and dads down stairs stairs shitting
Blonde paint
Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
It’s not real bright, but it’s cheap, and spreads easy.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
Dandruff
A blonde and a brunette were sitting on the park bench when the brunette said, “My boyfriend used to have dandruff but then I gave him head and shoulders”.
The blonde said, “How do you give a man shoulders?”