Jaimito llega al colegio golpeado

Jaimito llega al colegio golpeado en la cara. La maestra le pregunta:

“�Qu� te paso Jaimito? Otra vez estuviste peleando.”

“No, profe, es que mis padres no tienen dinero por la situaci�n del pa�s. Entonces dormimos en la misma cama los tres, usted sabe por la austeridad. Por la noche mis padres me mandan a dormir y se acuestan. Luego me preguntan: ‘Jaimito �Est�s dormido?’ Yo contesto ‘S�’ y entonces me golpean.”

La maestra le dice:

“Claro, ya s� qu� pasa. Tus padres necesitan privacidad, Jaimito. Ellos no pueden hacer el amor si tu est�s despierto. Esta noche cuando te manden a dormir tu te acuestas y te quedas tranquilo, si te preguntan algo quedate callado, para que veas que no te hacen nada.”

Al d�a siguiente llega Jaimito todo amoreteado, un yeso en una pierna y en un brazo, la cara con curitas, en fin �vuelto mierda! La maestra lo ve y le dice:

“�Qu� hiciste mijo? Seguro no fue lo que yo te dije.”

“Si profe, me mandaron a dormir y lo hice. Me preguntaron: ‘Jaimito est�s dormido.’ Y yo me qued� como muerto. Al rato se desnudaron y se acostaron. Luego de un poco de movimientos mi mam� empez� a decir:

“�MI AMOR ME VOY!”

Y mi pap� tambi�n:

“�YO TAMBI�N ME VOY!”

Entonces yo me par� y les dije:

“�ESPERENME QUE ME VOY CON USTEDES!”

Adultery

An old man went into confession and told the priest:”Father,I’m 81 married with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night i had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls.Twice.” “I see,” said the priest.”When was the last time you were in confession?” “Never,Father”, replied the old man.”I’m Jewish” “So why are you telling me?” “I’m telling everybody!”

Minnesota Vikings

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up, fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

“My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. “

“Sometimes, if the offer’s really good, he’ll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money.”

“The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took Little David aside to ask him, “Is that really true about your father?

“No,” said David, “He plays for the Minnesota Vikings, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.”

Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo