Once there was a kid who loves to kill people. He found Ahouse full of people. He said oh this is a good place to kill these people. Little did he know these people were really stupid. So that night he sneak in the house. hes was in the daughters room she was sleeping. When he went over there she woke up and said stop you are scaring me. Then the kid got hes knife and kill her. After that he went in the family room and saw the rest of the family. When they saw him they all said stop you are scaring me. Then the child got his knike and kill them all. Told you they were stipid Haha
Author: admin
Dumb
Who would hit the floor First the blond or Brunett
Th Brunett would the blonde wuold stop halfway and ask for directions
Speeding Ticket
A judge had just fined a man $25 for speeding. When the judge gave the man the receipt, the man yelled sarcastically, ‘What am I supposed to do with this…frame it?!?!?!’ The judge replied, ‘No, keep it, when you get three you get a bicycle.’
Cops and Blondes
There was a blonde a brunnete and a red head they were
all in a car. When all of a sudden a cop tells them to pull over.
But the brunnete didn’t want a speeding ticket. So the brunnete
goes and steps on the gas. While they were ahead of the cop they
decided to stop the car. When they got out of the car they
look around to see where to run, as they look the red head spots
3 sacks. So each of the girls get into one of the sacks. As they
do
that the cop is chasing behind them. When he sees the car, He
gets out of the car and sees that there is nobody inside the
girls car. Then he sees the 3 sacks. So he goes and kicks the
red head sack and she screams “meeeooowww” he says ” oh just a
sack of cats” then
he kicks the brunnetes sack and she says ” ruff arf ruff” and
he’s like “oh its juss a sack of dogs” then he kicks the blondes
and she says “potato”.
I can’t remember
Once there was an old man sitting on a bench in the park crying.
A younger man walked up to him and asked “What’s wrong?”
The old man replied “I am married to a sexy 21 year old woman who gives me two blowjobs a day and we have sex the minute I get home from work and right after dinner.”
The young man had a strange look on his face and asked “What’s so bad about that? It sounds to me like you have a great sex life.”
The old man replied “I can’t remember where I live!”
A blonde decides to try horse-back riding,…
A blonde decides to try horse-back riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the
horse
immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a rhythmic and
steady
pace, but the blonde begins to slip in the saddle. In terror, she grabs
for
the horse’s mane, but she cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to
throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of
the
horse anyway. The horse continues it’s galloping pace, seemingly
unaware of
its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away
from
the horse to try to throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot
becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the
horse’s
pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and
again.
As her head is being battered against the ground, she is mere moments
away
from unconsciousness when the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut off the
horse
Patato sacks
Once there was a blonde a brunette and a red head.They were driving and they went past the speed limit so the police were coming.They saw three patato sacks at the side of the road so they stpped the car and each hid in one.Thepolice came to the potato sacks and kicked the one with the red head and the red head said”MEOW MEOW.”So the police thought it was a cat ten thy kicked the one with the brunette and she said”WOOF WOOF.”So the police thought it was a dog.Then came the blonde the police kicked the bag and the blonde said”POTATO POTATO POTATO.”
An American delegation
An American delegation is being shown around a Russian factory. Two workers
are carrying a big and very heavy pipe. Suddenly one drops the pipe and they
start a conversation. One of the Americans says:
– I understand Russian a little, I’ll translate you. The first one says that
he had sex with this pipe. The other one says he had sex with the first man,
oral and anal as well, and with the factory’s main engineer, and with each
representative of the factory’s administration individually!
Marriage
Men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve
experienced pain and bought jewelry. –Rita Rudner
Two Women
Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. As they came back, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway.The first one did not have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her panties and used them to clean herself and discarded them.The second not finding anything either, thought “I’m not getting rid of my panties…” so she used the ribbon of a flower wreath to clean herself.The morning after, the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone, and one says to the other: ” We have to be on the look-out, it seems that these two were up to no good last night, my wife came home without her panties…”.The other one responded: “You’re lucky, mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that read, “We will never forget you”.
Whenever I feel like exercise,
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
Why are there fences around cemetaries?…
Why are there fences around cemetaries?
Because people are dying to get in!