Author: admin

One night, a twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dahlia Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.”Gentlemen,” he began, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we’re about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!” With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world’s greatest athlete should have a parachute!” With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.Bill Gates rose and said, “Gentlemen, I am the world’s smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world’s smartest man should have a parachute, too.” He grabbed one, and out he jumped.The Dalai Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dalai Lama spoke. “My son,” he said, “I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you. You take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane.”The hippie smiled slowly and said, “Hey, don’t worry, pop. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.”

I hate to be the bearer of sad news so it is with a heavy heart
that I pass on the following:

Please join me in remembering a great icon — the veteran
Pillsbury spokesman. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a
yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the
belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased
coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects,
including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The
grave site was piled high with flours. His longtime friend, Aunt
Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who
never knew how much he was needed. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
not considered a very “smart”cookie, wasting much of his dough
on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he
even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for
millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but
alas, he was no tart. Doughboy had a wife, Play Dough; two
children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the
oven. He also had a elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was
held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.