ancient Romanian proverb…
The church is near,
but the roads are icy.
The tavern is far,
but I will walk carefully!
Author: admin
Blondes kill birds?
how do blondes kill birds?
Throw them off a cliff.
Osoma Bin Laden
osoma bin laden you son of a bitch may your balls develop the seven year itch may your pecker be twisted to such a matter that your ass hole whisles the star spangled banner.
How many Irishmen does it take…
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Twentyone. One to hold the bulb, and twenty to drink until the room
spins.
Tolkien spokien here….
Tolkien spokien here.
HoHoHo
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa!
Teepee/Wigwam
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replies: “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”( too tense! )
Sent to Your Room
“When I was a youngster,” complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, “I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player.”
“So what do you do when your son misbehaves?” asked his friend.
“I send him to our room!”
“Washing the Clothes”
John and Claire are just newly married. They are still a little shy about doing the “wild thing”, so they decide to just refer to it as “washing the clothes”. One night, Claire invites some of her friends over for dinner, but John is really horny and doesn’t want to have to entertain their guests.
So, as Claire is serving the main course, he whispers in her ear, “Let’s go wash the clothes”. Claire is horrified that he could even suggest such a thing while they’re entertaining, and she refuses. John tries again, but she won’t give in. Claire tells him instead to go upstairs and get the candleholders from the hall closet. Frustrated, John slowly walks up the stairs to get them.
While he’s upstairs, Claire thinks of the fun they’d have if they COULD “wash the clothes”. Nah, she thinks. Not now. But eventually her imagination gets the best of her, and she tells the maid to run upstairs and tell John that she’ll be up in a minute to help him. The maid finds John upstairs in the bedroom, and tells him that his wife will be up in a minute to help him wash the clothes.
“Tell her it’s ok,” says John. “I already did them by hand.”
What’s the difference between a blonde and…
What’s the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
You don’t lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Never sell a bear skin
Never sell a bear skin before catching the bear.
Different strokes
Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow
noticed that his partner had only one golf ball.
“Don’t you have at least one other golf ball?” he asked. The other guy replied
that he only needed one.
“Are you sure?” the friend persisted. “What happens if you lose that ball?”
The other guy replied, “This is a very special golf ball. I won’t lose it so I
don’t need another one.”
“Well,” the friend asked, “what happens if you miss your shot and the ball
goes in the lake?”
“That’s okay,” he replied, “this special golf ball floats. I’ll be able to
retrieve it.”
“Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the
bushes and shrubs?
“The other guy replied, “That’s okay too. You see, this special golf ball has
a homing beacon. I’ll be able to get it back — no problem.”
Exasperated, the friend asks, “Okay. Let’s say our game goes late, the sun
goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do
then?”
“No problem,” says the other guy, “You see, this ball is fluorescent. I’ll be
able to see it in the dark.”
Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, “Hey,
where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?”
The other guy replies, “I found it.”