Author: admin

A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St.
Peter.

“Welcome!” he says. “Because we are currently operating at 99%
capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you
must answer my questions correctly to gain entrance.”

“Okay,” says the blonde.

“Here’s your question: name two days of the week that begin with the letter
T.”

“That’s easy. Today and tomorrow!”

“Well, that’s not the answer I was thinking of, but I’ll give you another
question. How many seconds are there in a year?”

“That’s easy. Twelve!”

“Twelve?”

“January second, February second, March second — “

“Okay, okay. I can see you misunderstood this question as well.
Well, Okay. I’ll give you one more chance. What’s God’s name?”

“That’s easy. Ollie !”

“Ollie ?”

“You know — ‘Our Father, who art in heaven, Ollie be thy name…

The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence
of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried
cable. mother superior called the electric company’s complaint department to ask
for help.

“The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community. you
must make them stop cursing so much.”, said the nun.

“Very well, sister. but you must make allowances for their habits. even when
they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.”,
said the company spokeswoman.

Mother superior then observed, “i think the term they actually use is ‘f******
shovel!'”.