One day in school a kid asked his teacher if he could go pee. the teacher said ok, but first say the alphabet. So he started saying A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S … but then the teacher stoped him and asked where did the P go? He said it is running down my leg.
Author: admin
Three ducks
-What do you call three ducks and a box of Triscuits?
-“Quackers”
A blonde dies her hair
a bolnde woman died her hair red becouse she got so fed up of every man takeing the mick out of blonde womman.so 1 day she was driving her car down a country lane on her way to work when she has to stop to let a shepherd pass with his flock of sheep. waiting pationtaly she winds down her window and says to the shepherd if i gess how many sheep you have can i have one? so the shepherd replys yes ok so the woman thinks for a whille and says you have got 195 sheep so the shepherd says yes thats right pick ur sheep so she wonders around and finaly picks one up and puts it in her car. then the shepherd says to the woman i got another deal for you if i gess what colour your hair is can i have my sheepdog back!!!
Un d�a cualquiera, se levanta
Un d�a cualquiera, se levanta un se�or, va al ba�o a lavarse la cara y nota un grano en la frente; lo ignora.
Pasa una semana, un mes, dos meses y el grano no desaparec�a, al contrario, iba en aumento. A la hora de la comida, le comenta a su esposa, y �sta le recalca que tiene que acudir al m�dico. As� lo hace.
“Doctor, f�jese que este grano lo tengo desde hace dos meses”.
“Bien, veamos. Este grano es muy extra�o, pero le haremos estudios y para la pr�xima semana le daremos resultados”.
Una semana despu�s, llega el paciente desesperado para saber que pasa.
“Pues con pena, pero tengo que dec�rselo”.
“�Qu� pasa, doctor, es grave lo que tengo?”, pregunta angustiado el hombre.
“Mire, a usted le va a salir un pene en la frente”.
El tipo, asustado por lo que le sucede, cuestiona:
“�Pero, doctor, me voy a ver muy mal!”
“No, se�or, no se va a poder ver, porque los test�culos le tapar�n los ojos”.
Legalize
A coed is asked:
– What will it take you to organize a whorehouse in your dorm?
– 2 kopecks (0.02 roubles) and 1 minute. To make a phone call there and say:
Girls! We are legalized!
Weird fact
Adam and Eve must of had no bellie button beacuse they are the
Chilren of GOD.
Healing Touch
Jesus recently walked into a bar somewhere in the Western World. He approached three sad-faced gentlemen at a table, and greeted the first one: “What’s troubling you, brother?” he said.
“My eyes. I keep getting stronger and stronger glasses, and I still can’t see.” Jesus touched the man, who ran outside to tell the world about his now 20-20 vision.
The next gentleman couldn’t hear Jesus’ questions, so The Lord just touched his ears, restoring his hearing to perfection.
This man, too, ran out the door, probably on his way to the audiologist to get a hearing-aid refund.
The third man leapt from his chair and backed up against the wall, even before Jesus could greet him. “Don’t you come near me, man! Don’t touch me!” he screamed. “I’m on disability!”
Yo mama so poor…
Yo mama so poor I went in her house one day and stepped on a cigarette and she said, “Oh no… There goes the heat.”
Lard Ass
How can you tell if its a lard ass in the car in front of you?
His tit hangs out the window!
Henery and mikes songs
here is a song:
OHHHH bin lattin dont you die so guick im ganna fuck your fanny with some anthrax on my dick.
Two Statues
There are two statues standing in the woods. They have been there standing on their pedastals for 500 years. A girl statue and a boy statue.
Finally one day the Good Fairy came down. You have been here for five centuries, naked just looking at one another. Now, the Good Fairy said to the statues, you have five full seconds to jump down off your pedastals and run out there in the bushes and do whatever it is that you would like to do.
The girl statue and the boy statue jumped down, ran into the bushes, came back out brushing the leaves out of their hair and jumped back upon their pedastals.
The Good Fairy said, “you used three seconds, you have two more seconds to finish what you were doing.”
The boy statue looked at the girl statue and said, “this time you hold the pigeon and I’ll poop on it’s head!”
You move your refrigerator and
You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.You mow your lawn and find a car.You can spit without opening your mouth.