All general statements are false; think about it.
Author: admin
Knock Knock 57
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Egypt!
Egypt who?
Egypt you when he sold you a broken door bell!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Elaine!
Elaine who?
Elaine of the freeway!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Eileen!
Eileen who?
Eileen over to tie up my shoes!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Elektra!
Elektra who?
Elektra circus!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Elias!
Elias who?
Elias a terrible thing!
This is about Yo Momma
Yo Momma head is so big it shows up on radar.
Baby Sister
A new mother took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her little girl in pink from head to toe. At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put the purchases around her. In the checkout line, she noticed a small boy and his mother were ahead of her.
The small boy was crying and begging for some special treat. “He wants some candy or gum and his mother won’t let him have any”, she thought.
Then she heard his mother’s reply. “No!” she said, looking in her direction. “You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!”
En tiempos de crisis, un
En tiempos de crisis, un esposo le sugiere a su mujer:
“Si aprendes a cocinar y a hacer trabajos dom�sticos podremos despedir a las sirvientas y ahorrar dinero”.
La esposa replica:
“Si aprendes a hacer el amor podremos despedir al chofer y al jardinero y ahorrar dinero”.
How many Macintosh users does it take to screw…
How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but you have to replace the whole motherboard.
Empty
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as quickly as he can.
The bartender asks, “My goodness, why are you drinking so fast?’
The guy replies, “You would be drinking just as fast if you had what I have.”
The bartender looks at him curiously and says, “What do you have?”
The guy responds, “An empty wallet.”
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman
It is a sin to put it in, but it’s a shame to pull
Q. What’s the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it’s a shame to pull it out.
It is once
It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully).NOMINEE No.10 [Associated Press, Kincaid] Blasting Cap Explodes in Man’s Mouth at Party. A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tougue state police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.Payne. Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it,” Payne said. “It wouldn’t go off and this guy said, ‘I’II show you how to set it off.”
2 Irish Girls
What do you call 2 Irish lesbians?
Gay-lick
Bad Tooth
A man and his wife entered the dentist’s office.
“I want a tooth pulled,” the man said. “We are in a big hurry, so let us not fool around with gas or Novocain or any of that stuff.”
“You are a very brave man,” remarked the dentist. “Which tooth is it?”
“Show him your bad tooth, honey,” said the man to his wife.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
Un d�a, en la selva,
Un d�a, en la selva, un chango estaba pas�ndola de poca madre cuando, repentinamente, empieza a llover. Desesperado porque se est� mojando, el simio se acerca a la casa del pajarito, toca a la puerta y le pide que lo deje entrar para no mojarse; el pajarraco responde con un no rotundo.
Pasan los minutos y la lluvia se pone a�n m�s fuerte, as� que el chango, imaginando que la avecilla cambio de opini�n, se acerca otra vez y le ruega que lo deje entrar. En un tono m�s firme, el avechucho responde que no.
Vuelve a pasar otro rato y, para ese momento, la lluvia se convierte en diluvio. El pobre mono, empapado completamente, se vuelve a acercar a la casa del ave para suplicarle que lo deje entrar porque est� escurriendo.
Con un tono aun m�s firme que las dos veces anteriores, el m�ndigo pajarito vuelve a responder que no.
La moraleja de esta historia es la siguiente:
Entre m�s mojado est� el chango, m�s firme se pone el pajarito.