A british man, a french man, and an american man are on a safari in africa,
and they are taken prisoner by a savage group of villagers. as they’re being
brought to the village, they are told that death was their only option; however,
they each had their choice of the method they would use to kill themselves. the
british man requested a pistol, and cried out “long lives the queen!” as he blew
his brains out. the two others watched in horror as the savages flayed the man
and made his skin into a canoe. the french man was next, and he requested a
saber. “vive le france” was what he cried out as he disemboweled himself. the
american guy watched again what they did with his body, as they made his skin
into a canoe. the last guy, the american guy requested a fork in which to kill
himself. as soon as it was handed to him, he started stabbing himself violently
as he screamed “so much for your f****** canoe!”
Author: admin
A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?
A. A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Men’s Room Graffiti…
Men’s Room Graffiti
Please don’t throw cigarette butts in the urinal;
it makes them hard to light.
How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex
How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?
Marry her.
Terrorists attack
The terrorists have siezed the “Attorney Building” along with everyone in it. They are demanding $10 Million. But the negotiations break down as the deadline appears. The terrorists announce to the Police, “In case you think we’re not serious, if our demands aren’t met, we’re going to start releasing the lawyers, one at a time.”
1000 lawyers
Q: What do you call a 1000 lawyers under the sea?
A: A good start!
Little Johnny Crack-up.
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Bobby?”
“Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.”
“Get out of my classroom,” she yells, “I don’t want to see you for three days!”
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard.
Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, “What’s so funny Billy?”
“Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters.”
Again she yells, “Get out of my classroom!” This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him – “I don’t want to see you for three weeks!”
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
“And where do you think you are going?” she asks.
“Well teach, from what I just saw, my school days are over!”
3rd Grade Blonde
Which 3rd grader has the best body? The brunette, the redhead or the
blonde.
The blonde because she is eighteen.
Heaven or Hell?
There are three guys who are good friends. One is an American, one
is Polish, and one is Italian.
They are driving together one day when they get into a car accident. They all die and float up towards the gates of Heaven.
When they get there, an angel who tells them they are all on the border of Heaven and Hell. As a result, they have the choice to either ask a question of the angel or be asked a question. If they answer correctly, or if the angel answers incorrectly on their question, they will pass into Heaven.
The Italian guy goes first. He tells the angel to ask him a question. The angel says, “How many grains of sand are there in the world?” The Italian guy says, “Um, four trillion?” and falls straight to Hell.
The polish guy goes next and wants the angel toe ask a question. The angel says, “How many drops of water are there in all of the world’s oceans?” He says, “Uh, ninety-eight billion?” and also falls straight to Hell.
Finally, it’s the American’s turn. He tells the angel he will ask the
question, but he needs a pencil and paper. The angel snaps his fingers and it magically appears. The American proceeds to take the paper, makes hundreds of holes in it with the pencil and farts through it. He then asks the angel, “Which hole did my fart go through?” The angel replies, “That’s easy,” and points to a hole.
The American says…
“No, it came out of this one!” and points to his butt, and then goes to Heaven.
pharmacy
a guy walks into a pharmacy and asked the feamle pharmacist if
he could speak with a male pharmacist. the female then replies
there are no males here just me and my sister. he says well it
is an embarassing problem i would like to tell a man. after
while the female finally talks him into telling her. he says i
have a problem with my penis. she then says well drop your pants
and show me. he does so and his penis was bout 12 inches
long,and swolen 3 times its regulars size. the man then asks the
pharmacist”what can ya give me for it” she tells the man to hold
on and walks to the back of the building. about five minutes
later she returns and says”i just got off the phone with my
sister.” “we can give ya 10,000 dollars and the pharmacy.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Nevada!Nevada who?Nevada saw
Knock KnockWho’s there?Nevada!Nevada who?Nevada saw you look so bad, you should be bed!
You or one of your
You or one of your relatives is named Cletus.Your grandfather can sense a storm coming by a mysterious twitching in his knee.The make, model, and license plate number of your truck are obscured by a layer of mud.