Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?A: Pull the pin and throw it back.Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?A: So they know what day of the week it is.Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?A: Because it kept falling out.Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?A: Wishful Thinking.Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?A: Her IQ goes up!Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?A: You don’t lend the Porsche out to your friend.Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?A: Butter is difficult to spread.Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
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Dental Buddhism
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Math Class
Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out.”If I gave you $200,” the teacher began, “and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would you have?””An orgy,” Johnny answered.
Fishmeal
Little Sidney was watching his mummy prepare the fish for dinner.
She asks him, �Do you know what part of a fish weighs the most, darling?�
�No,� he replies.
�It�s the scales.�
yikes
Q: How do you fit four gay guys on one bar stool?
A: Turn it over.
Q: Whats the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant
girl.
A: You can un-screw the lightbulb.
Una mujer de 25 a�os
Una mujer de 25 a�os le cuenta a una amiga sobre su matrimonio con un se�or de 65.
“Es tan caballero: me trae flores todos los d�as, me regala bombones, me lleva de paseo, fuimos de vacaciones a Hawai, me compra ropa todas las semanas, cine, teatro, cenas en los mejores restaurantes, joyas, etc.”
“�Y en la cama?”, pregunta la amiga.
“En la cama hacemos el tratamiento”.
“�Cu�l tratamiento?”
“�l trata y yo miento”.
Eat That?
Q: What did Jeffery Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit??
A: “Are you gonna eat that??”
Miss Muffet
Little miss muffet… sat on her tuffet… eating her kurds and way.
Along came a spider, who sat down beside her, and said: “hey, whats
in the bowl bitch?!”
The 2 Hunters
There are two moose hunters who hop
on a float-plane and fly to their
destination. When the plane arrives at the
lake, the pilot says: “In three days, I’ll
meet you two guys back here with one
moose.” The plane flew away and the
men set up camp.
The first day they shot nothing. The
second, one man shot a moose and on
the third day, the second man shot
another moose. The plane came to pick
them up, and the pilot said: “What are you
doing, I told you to be here with only one
moose, not two.” The hunters told the
pilot that last year, the pilot let them take
two mooses (mice?). The pilot wanted to
stay competitive with the other pilots and
made an exception this time to let the
hunters take two mooses. With the extra
weight, the plane barely got off the lake,
then hit a tree and crashed. One hunter
crawled over to his buddy to see if he was
hurt. He shook him, then he woke up and
said, dazed: “Where are we?” The first
man answered: “About 100 feet from
where we crashed last year.”
Zebra
What do you call a zebra
a horse that surrports newcastle.
Cat Trick
Ready to have some fun?
Read the following cat story slowly and attentively…
This is this cat
This was is cat
This is how cat
This was to cat
This is keep cat
This was a cat
This is idiot cat
This was busy cat
Ok, now read the third word in every line!
Favorite quote
why did the blonde jump off the cn tower………….
because she thought that her maxi had wings!!