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Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve!

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Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve

10. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.

8. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would, therefore, need Eve to go get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor’s, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As “Keeper of the Garden,” Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone!”

And finally, the number ONE reason that God created Eve…

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head, and said, “I can do better than THAT!”

A tribe within Africa

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There was a tribe in Africa which was very fierce and warring…they would battle all the tribes in the area, and they always won. As a victory trophy, they would take the throne of the chief of the defeated tribe and carry it home, chanting victory chants and singing the whole way. When they got home, they would put the throne in the attic of the grass hut. This went on for quite some time, and soon the throne collection grew, adding to the prestige of the tribe.One day, they battled a tribe of farily large people, some might call them giants. They won, and they struggled to get the throne home…but the chanting and joyesness prevailed as usual. When they got home, they had the ritual of putting the throne in the attic of the grass hut, but the weight was too much. The ceiling collapsed, killing everyone on the tribe.The moral: People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

The Italian

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One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.

I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two
pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.

I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet – I say, you no
understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss
on plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don’t even know lady, she calla me
somma ma b*tch.

Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana
tell me fa cough! – I don’t even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH!

Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky’s Place, the waitress she
bring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock – She
tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I
wanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock on table you sonna
ma b*tch – I not even know lady ana she call me sonna ma b*tch.

So, I go back to my hotel room, an there’s no sheet on my bed. I
calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he tell me go to
toilet. So, I say, you no understand, I wanna sheet on bed. He say
you betta not sheet on bed you sonna ma b*tch. I don’t even know man
ana he call me sonna ma b*tch!

I go to check out of hotel and man at desk say peace to you. I say
peace on you too!, you sonna ma b*tch! – I GO BACK TO ITALY!!!

pregnancy

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A woman went to her doctor in a panic.”Doctor, you must help me,” she sobbed, please put my mind at rest.. Is it possible to become pregnant from anal sex..? ” The doctor leaned back in his chair and said, “You foolish woman – of course it is. Where do you think lawyers come from…?”

THE PESSIMIST

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An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended
when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.
Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature,
and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a
flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and
jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across
the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.
The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything
unusual about my new dog?”
I sure did,” responded his friend. “He can’t swim.

Se encontraba Juan trabajando, cuando

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Se encontraba Juan trabajando, cuando les informan que al siguiente d�a les practicar�an un examen anti-doping en el trabajo. Preocupado porque pudiera salir negativo va a su casa y le pide orines a su esposa. El dia del examen entrega los orines de su esposa.

A la semana en el trabajo los forman a todos en la puerta del jefe, y el los hace pasar de uno por uno. Al primero solo le dijo, “est� despedido”, al segundo, “siga trabajando”, al tercero, “est� despedido”, y as� sucesivamente, dependiendo de la persona.

Pero cuando entra juan le dice, “�Felicidades!”, y el muy animado contesta:

“�Me va a dar un aumento?”

“No.”

“Etonces �por qu� me felicita?”

“Porque est� usted embarazado y despedido.”

Four Corners

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A guy walks up to this farmer and asks if he can stay in his barn for the night.

The farmer replies, “Sure you can. I only have four matches though. Also watch out for the four corners of the barn.”

The man replies, “Thanks for the matches and the advice.

The farmer walks him to the barn and tells the man to have a goodnight and he will see him in the morning. The man says, “thanks” and goes in the barn.

He lights the first match and looks in the first corner. He sees a beautiful woman and goes over to the corner. He fucks her and the match goes out.

He lights the second match and looks in the second corner. Much to his surprise he sees an even more beautiful woman than the first. He fucks her and the match goes out.

He lights the third match and it goes out. He lights the last match and looks in the third corner. The woman standing in the third corner is even more beautiful than the other two. He fucks her and the match goes out.

He looks at the fourth corner and decides that the person standing in the corner must be even more beautiful than the other 3 women. He fucks the person in the fourth corner and then goes to bed.

When he wakes up the 3 women are still in their corners. He looks over to the fourth corner and sees a man scraping his tounge off with his fingers.

He now understood why the farmer warned him about the four corners.