yo mommas bot is so hairy it looks like don kings about to pop out and say “only in america!”
Author: admin
Ultimate rejection
What’s the ultimate rejection?
When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Lunch Break
There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one
was Mexican, and the other one was Polish.
At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building. The Mexican guy
pulled out a taco and said, “If I get another taco tomorrow, I am gonna jump off
this bulding.”
The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said, “If I get fried rice tomorrow,
I’m gonna jump off with you.”
The Polish guy pulled out a ham sandwich and said, “If I get another ham
sandwich, I’m going to jump tomorrow with you guys too.”
The next day the Mexican guy got a taco, so he jumped off the building. The
Chinese guy got fried rice, so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich,
so he jumped off.
The next day their wives had a triple funeral. The Mexican guy’s wife was
crying, and she said, “I could have made him a burrito or something.”
The Chinese guy’s wife was crying and said, “I could have made him some
sushi.”
The Polish guy’s wife couldn’t stop laughing. The other’s asked her what she
thought was so funny, and she replied, “My husband always made his own lunch.”
Why don’t [ethnics] go elephant
Why don’t [ethnics] go elephant hunting?
The decoys are too heavy.
The Five Stages of S
1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon, you both keep doing it until you’re blue in the face. 2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you’ll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen while she’s trying to wash the dishes.3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom. 4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, “F*** you!” 5) The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.
Orchestra joke
Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!
Favorite Fairy Tale
What is a blonde’s favorite fairy tale?Hump me, Dump Me.
No clothes on
The lovers passionately embraced on her bed, their bodies fused together as they writhed in the heat of the moment.
The woman cocked her ear “Quick it’s my husband coming through the front door. Hide in the bathroom” she cried.
The lover ran into the bathroom as she hid his clothes under the bed and as she turned back, her husband came through the bedroom door.
“What are you doing lying on the bed naked?” he asked.
“Darling, I heard you coming up the drive and got ready to receive you.” she replied with a knowing smile.
“Great” he said “I’ll just nip into the bathroom and will be with you in two shakes.”
Before she could stop him he was into the bathroom where he found the lover clapping his hand in mid-air.
“Who the devil are you!” the husband demanded.
“I’m from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get rid of these pesky moths.” the lover replied.
“But..but you’ve got no clothes on?” stammered the husband.
The lover looked down and jumped backwards in surprise and said “The little bastards.”
Smart duck stupid shopkeeper!
A duck went to a shop went up one aisle downt the other up one down the other then he went over to a shopkeeper and asked do you have any duck food? the shopkeeper said no the next day the duck came back to the shop and went up one aisle and down the other up one and down the other he went over to the shopkeeper and asked do u have any duck food the shopkeeper said no and if you ever ask again then im going to nail your feet down the duck came back the next day and did the same thing but when it came to asking whether he had and duck food he asked instead do you have any nails? the shopkeeper said no then the duck asked do you have any duck food? lol it is funni
Dick Transplant
A man comes to the doctor and says, “m-m-m-my d-d-dick is so
pressurized that I st-st-stutter.” The doctor tells him he will
give him a dick transplant. He loses his 3-foot-long dick for a
4-inch-long dick. He comes back in a week and says, “Now my wife
wont have sex with me. May I have the old one back?” The doctor
replies… “A d-d-d-deal’s a d-d-d-deal.”
Knock Knock 45
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Deena!
Deena who?
Deena hear me the first time!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Delhi!
Delhi who?
Delhicatessen!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Delores!
Delores who?
Delores is on the side of the good guys!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
De Niro!
De Niro who?
De Niro I am to you, the more I like you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Denis!
Denis who?
Denis anyone?
Walking on Water
Jesus and Saint Paul are sitting in Heaven, talking about the pollution on Earth and wondering what can be done about mankind’s filthy ways. Jesus says he’s going to pop down to Skegness to see the situation for himself, and Paul agrees to join him. When they get there, Jesus asks what the huge metal pipe is for. Paul tells him it’s used to take human waste out to sea where the muck kills dolphins. So Jesus decides to take action and strides across the waves. Walking alongside, Paul is soon knee-deep in filthy water, while Jesus scoots along on top of the sea. Ever hopeful of some help he slogs on, and Jesus keeps walking on water… but soon the water is up to Paul’s chin. “Master,” he calls, “I will follow you anywhere, but I’m up to my neck in shitty water and I think I’m going to drown.” At this Jesus stops walking and looks at Paul.”Well,” he says, “why don’t you just walk on the pipe like me, you silly fool?”