One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand. The teacher says, “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?”Sally holds up her hand and asks “is it a giraffe?””Very good Sally,” the teacher replies.Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands.”See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?”Billy holds up his hand and says, “It’s a zebra.””Very good Billy,” the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal.”See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?” Still no one guesses.”Let me give you another hint, it’s something your mother calls your father.”Little Johnny shouts out, “IS IT A HORNY BASTARD?”
Author: admin
Gothic
I hate you you mother f####r dirty b####h basterd beep beep beep beep beep beep beep!
An
An event at which the minutes are kept and the
hours are lost.
Even in Disguise
A blonde walks into an electronics store and points to something behind the clerk.
“How much is that television set?” she asks.
“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” the clerk said.
So, the girl walks out. The next day, she returns wearing a brown wig. She again approaches the clerk and asks “How much is that television set behind you?”
The clerk replies, “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes.”
Again, the girl walks out.
She again tries the next day, this time wearing a red wig. She goes up to the clerk and asks “How much is that television set behind you?”
The clerk again replies, “We don’t sell to blondes!”
Well, the girl was kind of suspicious.
She asks carefully, “How do you know I’m a blond?”
The clerk looks at the girl and says…
“Because that’s not a television, it’s a microwave!”
Three tasks before you can join
Dinkin, an Ohio farm boy, was trying to join a fraternity at the University of
Alaska, but the boys didn’t want him.
They told him that in order to be accepted he’d have to do three things: drink
a gallon of homemade liquor, wrestle a grizzly bear and make love to an Eskimo
woman.
Dinkin guzzled down the booze and then staggered off into the woods. He
returned the next day, his clothes tattered and torn.
“What happened?!” asked the frat men.
“Never mind!” said the boy. “Now where’s that Eskimo woman you wanted me to
wrestle?”
Get me out of here!
A son was placing his father into a nursing home.
“Please don’t put me in there, son!” cried the old man.
The son said, “Pop, I can’t take care of you & work too. I’ve checked the place out & it is the best one there is. I think you’ll love it.”
The next day the father called his son & said, “Son, you were right! I LOVE this place, it is so great here. Thank you so much for making the decision!”
“That’s swell, dad,” said the son. “What makes it so great?”
“Well,” replied the dad. “Last night I was in my room & from out of nowhere, I got an erection. A nurse came in, saw me & gave me a blowjob! I haven’t had one of those in 30 or 40 years! I’d almost forgotten what it was like! It was fantastic!”
“That’s great, dad,” said the son.
A few days later the father called his son again & said “You have to get me out of here! I hate this place! I can’t live here any more!”
“What’s wrong, pop?” asked the son.
“Last night I fell down in the hallway. I was getting up and when I was on my hands & knees, a male nurse came along & sodomized me! I CANNOT and WILL NOT live like this!”
The son said, “Dad, I know that’s terrible and we’ll get it straightened out, but until then, you have to understand, we have to take the good with the bad. Just hang in there.”
“No, son” said the dad. “You don’t understand! I get an erection maybe once a year! I fall down two or three times a day!”
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman
People who love sausage and
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.
The joke
One day at a softball camp Deserray W. told me a joke . Ajoke about Cat O. that she had six toes on one foot Des said that cat showed her.I did not belived her .At yhe saramony i saw Cat wearing sandles and she had 10 toes together.WIERD
American Survey
A survey was taken of all the women in the United States. The
question was, “would you have sex with the president?” The
results were:
2% yes!
12% no!
86% not again!
Girls Should Know
20 Things Guys Think Girls Should Know 1. We’re not a bunch of barbarians as you think we all are. 2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a jerk. 3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too. 4. Don’t argue with us when we call you beautiful. 5. Don’t treat us like garbage – what goes around comes around. 6. We know you’re pretty, that’s one of the reason’s we’re going out with you. 7. If you really liked us for who we are, you would let us believe that our mustache, beard, or sideburns look cool. 8. We never shave our legs. So Get over it. 9. NEVER ask us if you can put make up on us. It’s just wrong. 10. When we tell you that you’re not fat, believe us. 11. We absolutely do not care about The Backstreet Boys, ‘NSYNC, Justin Timberlake, or what any other guy looks like for that matter. 12. Just cause you think you’re always right, doesn’t mean that you don’t have to apologize when you do something wrong. 13. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us. 14. We can’t always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes. 15. Don’t ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for. 16. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you. 17. If you want us to put the seat down when we’re done, you should put it up when you’re done. 18. Don’t tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn’t turn us on. 19. Always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach. 20. We know you’re not always right, but we’ll pretend like you are anyway. IF YOU SEND THIS TO:0-5 people: you will have bad luck6-10 people: your crush will notice you 10-15 people: your crush will kiss you 15+ people: your crush will fall in love with you!
Recess
yo mamma so dumb she failed recess
Yo mommas so skinny
Yo momma`s so skinny,the toothpicks are jealous of her!!!