Author: admin

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker…

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A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey
on the dashboard.
After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for.

The driver says “I’ll show you,” and with that he hits the monkey with the
back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash.

The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his
unit and proceeds to give the trucker oral gratification.

When finished, the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts
everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard.

“See that?” said the trucker.

The man said, “Yeah.”

The trucker ask the man, “You want to try it?”

The man said, “OK, but don’t hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!”

The Divorce…

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A man was summoned to court for punching his lawyer.
During the process, the Judge asked him to explain his actions.

“Your Honor,” replied the defendant, “that man represented me in a bitter divorce. One day he said my property settlement hearing was about to be held. The judge would decide that afternoon what I would get, and what Rose would get. My lawyer told me I didn’t have to be present and “not to worry.”

“I can’t see why you’d punch a man for that,” interrupted the judge.

“Wait, there’s more…
When I asked my attorney later about the settlement, he told me to look on the bright side. I asked why.
Then he said, “Because everything’s coming up Rose’s.”

“THAT’S when I hit him!”

Swallow

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The playboy encountered a lovely young thing on one of his trips abroad and decided to marry her.

Blessing the fact that she was not only a virgin but totally naive, he seized on the wedding night as a chance to break her in right, and had her suck him off a number of times.

The next day the bride went to see her mother, and burst into tears almost immediately. “Oh, Mother,” she sobbed . “I did so want to have children, and now I just know I never shall.”

“Now, now, dear, what makes you so sure?” asked the mother soothingly.

“Because,” she wept, “because I’ll never learn to swallow that dreadful stuff!”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing

Blonde TGIF

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A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, ”T-G-I-F” (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, ”S-H-I-T” (letters only).” She looked at him, puzzled, and said, ”T-G-I-F” again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, ”S-H-I-T.” The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly ”T-G-I-F” another time. The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, ”S-H-I-T.” The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, ”T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?” The man answered, ”Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”