Yours Fun Portal !
The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following:
“Dear Mary,
I can not remember which one is you … please keep YOUR photo and return the others!”
Two Irish tram managers promised their players a 1 pint of Guinness for every
goal they scored during an important match. The final score was 119-98.
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his
arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, “Hey Bob! Whacha get the
case of beer for?” “I got it for my wife, eh.” answers Bob. “Oh!”
exclaims Doug, “Good trade!”
Q: How do you know a leper is playing ice hockey?
A: There’s a ‘face-off’ in the corner.
What�s the the difference between your job and marriage
Your job still sucks after 3 years
There were three prostitutes living together: a mother, a daughter and a grandmother. One night the daughter came home looking very down.”How did you do tonight, dear?”asked her mother.”Not too good.”replied the daughter, “I only got 20 dollars for a blow job””Wow!” said the mother, “In my day, we were glad to get 5 dollars for a blow job!””Good God!” said the Grandmother, “In my day, we were glad to just get something warm in our stomachs!”
It was graduation night at Cox High School and they were about halfway through the ceremony when the principal said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a problem, Bubba is a few credits short and won’t be able to graduate tonight.”
Well now, Bubba was the starting right guard for Cox’s football team, and when the student body heard that he wasn’t going to graduate, they all jumped up and started to chant, “Give Bubba another chance, give Bubba another chance!”
Pat Dye and the principal had a quick conference and afterward, the principal announced that they have decided to give Bubba another chance. Bubba is told that he will be given a “One Question” math test and if he passes, he can graduate.
The question is, “What is 2 plus 3?” Bubba thinks for about 20 minutes and finally says, “I have it! The answer is 5!”
There is complete silence in the auditorium for a couple of seconds and then the entire Cox High School football team jumps up and begins to chant, “Give Bubba one more chance. Give Bubba one more Chance!”
While campaigning in South Carolina, George W. Bush made a surprise appearance
at a meeting of high school football coaches. It was a real surprise because
Dubya wasn’t much of a football player in high school. While the rest of the
team was practicing for the big game, he was on the bench trying to snort the
out-of-bounds lines.
A horse walks into the bar, the bartender says”why the long face?”
Q: What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone?A: He turned into Hillary!
Back in 1947 the government was experimenting with a Marine’s ability to
complete his mission after suffering a serious head injury.
They took a well trained, physically-fit, hard-charging Cpl. and told him to
row a canoe up a river. The Cpl. jumped in the canoe, started rowing up stream
with ease and began singing, “From the Halls of Montezuma, To the Shores of
Tripoli.”
The next day a team of surgeons performed a frontal lobotomy on the
Marine. Again, they took him to the river and said’ “row.”
Again the Cpl. jumped in, took a second to find his seat, started rowing with
a little difficulty and began singing. It took a little more effort this time,
“From Da Hallls of Montayuma, Two Da Stores in
Tripoli.” But he made it up river and completed the task.
The next day the surgeons removed the majority of the Marines brain and took
him to the river.
The Cpl. jumped in, fell out, and began swimming up stream, singing “For Da
Hails of Monte puma, to ‘e hall inn monopoly.” But again, he made it up
river and completed his task.
The next day the surgeons removed the remainder of the Marines brain. He had
no brain what-so-ever and no way to think logically. They took him to the
river. He fell out of the car and began singing, “Hear we go, Into the wild
blue yonder….”
Una pareja de sexagenarios acude a la consulta de un terapista sexual. Sin m�s pre�mbulos, el caballero le dice: “�Doctor, pudiera usted observarnos mientras tenemos un coito?”
El m�dico queda un poco at�nito, pero acepta. Cuando la pareja termina, el doctor les dice: No hay nada de malo en la forma como ustedes lo hacen, y les cobra $32.”
Esto sucede varias semanas seguidas. La pareja hac�a una cita, llegaba, ten�an relaciones sin problemas, pagaban al doctor y sal�an.
Finalmente el doctor les pregunta: “�Qu� es exactamente lo que ustedes est�n buscando? �cu�l es el problema que tienen?”
El viejo le dice:
“Mire doctor, le voy a ser sincero. Ella es casada y no podemos ir a su casa, yo soy casado y no podemos ir a mi casa. El Holiday Inn cobra $50, el Hilton $78; aqu� lo hacemos por $32 y el seguro me reconoce $28.”