Author: admin

The Old Ghost

Posted on by admin

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up.

After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly.

The passenger screamed, “Look at the window. There’s an old ghost’s face there!”

The driver sped up, but the old man’s face stayed in the window.

The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, “What do you want?”

The old man softly replied, “You got any tobacco?”

The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, “Step on it,” to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.

A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again. The driver said, “I don’t know what happened, but don’t worry; the speedometer says we’re doing 80 now.”

All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared.

“There he is again,” the passenger yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, “Yes?

“Do you have a light?” the old man quietly asked.

The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, “Step on it!”

They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.

“Oh my God! He’s back!” The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, “WHAT NOW?”

The old man gently replied, “You want some help getting out of the mud?”

Va Venancio por una calle

Posted on by admin

Va Venancio por una calle oscura junto a su amigo Manolo. De repente salen tres hombres de la oscuridad.

Manolo sale corriendo y queda Venancio solo y desamparado, a la merced de los forajidos.
Cuando est�n por pegarle y dejarlo sin sus pertenencias, aparece un hombre a caballo vestido de negro, con antifaz negro, sombrero negro, capa negra, con una Z dibujada en la espalda, una Z dibujada en el sombrero, una Z en el pecho y una Z en la montura del caballo.

Baja les pega con su espada a los ladrones, los hiere, les dibuja una Z en las ropas a cada uno, y los pone en retirada.

Venancio, agradecido, se tira a sus pies y le dice:

“�Gracias ZUPERMAN!”

For Pete’s sake, run

Posted on by admin

A small social club was trying to organize a baseball team. They could only
muster eight players, but were hard put to find a ninth. In desperation, they
called on a new member, an Englishman, to join their team.
During their first game, the Englishman came to bat. On the first pitch, he
knocked the ball out of the park.
“Run!” his teammates cried. “For Pete’s sake, run!”
The Brit turned and stared at them icily. “I jolly well shan’t run,” he
replied. “Why should I? I’m perfectly willing to buy you chaps another ball.”

Things Dogs Must Try To Remember

Posted on by admin

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in
the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
“Kitty box crunchies” are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not wake Mommy up with my cold, wet nose on her bottom.
I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration.