Bill and Monica were made for each other. Monica has a crooked mouth.
Author: admin
Va kim Bassinger a confesarse
Va kim Bassinger a confesarse y el cura en cuanto la ve se pone nervioso:
“Ave mar�a pur�sima.”
“Sin pecado concebida.”
“Mire padre que tengo unas dudas.”
“Dime, hija mia, cu�ntame.”
“Padre: �con esta cara puedo ser virgen?”
“Ejem… pues claro hija m�a.”
En eso Kim se quita la blusa, se baja el sujetador, se agarra las tetas y dice: “�Y con estas tetas? �puedo ser virgen padre?”
El cura muy empalmado ya dice: “Pues claro que s� hija m�a, claro que puedes.”
Kim se quita los pantalones, se baja las braguitas, le ense�a el chichi y le dice: “�Y con este chichi? �puedo ser virgen?”
El cura ya no puede m�s y se sale del confesionario y se pone de rodillas ante el altar y empieza a rezar: “Padre alt�simo, se que la carne nos est� prohibida pero, por favor, me est� faltando la fe Se�or, dame una se�al para seguir creyendo…”
En esto que se oyen unos golpes fort�simos de frente; el cura mira el cristo cruficado golpe�ndose contra la pared y gritando: “QUITAME LOS CLAVOS JODER, QUITAME LOS CLAVOOOOS!!!”
Thanksgiving thoughts
In 1620, the first pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock — which marked the country’s first commercial tie-in after Ford and GM were outbid. Thanksgiving is the day we give thanks for our cornucopia of plenty…. and feed Aunt Gertrude’s asparagus Jello mold to Fido under the table.A 17 pound Thanksgiving turkey has been delivered to the White House. The Clintons had planned to have a butterball, but Newt Gingrich declined the invitation.
A theory is better than
A theory is better than its explanation.
Ice Hole
There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win — they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.”A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!”
bow wow
What did the smelly dog say to the fat cat? i got a BONE to pick wit u
Mutual Orgasm Riddle
What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
An insurance company.
“hot girl in the Bar
A guy walks into the bar and sits down next to a man. The man says to him “you see that hot girl in the bar” the guy looks over to his right and see’s a hot girl sitting at the bar. He says “ya” and looks back toward the man. Then the man said “you want me to introduce you to her”. The guy says “yes” and the two walk over to her and start to talk. Later as the guy walks out of the bar with the girl the bartender asks why he set the guy up with that girl. the man replied “I probably would have kept her for myself but I dont date men”.
Tickle
How do you tickle a rich girl?
Say, “Gucci, Gucci, Gucci!”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
They smoked but didn’t inhale.
Q: Is Bill Clinton heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual?
A: None of the above. He suffers from ego sexuality since he is constantly
screwing himself.
Sure signs that you’re broke!
1. American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”
2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
3. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
4. You’ve rolled so many pennies, you’ve formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.
5. Long distance companies don’t call you to switch.
6. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.
7. Your rob Peter…and then rob Paul.
8. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
9. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
10. Your bologna has no first name.
11. You give blood everyday…just for the orange juice.
12. Sally Struthers sends you food.
13. McDonald’s supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
14. At communion you go back for seconds.
Redneck quickies 34
You might be a redneck if…
You surf the net primarily for tater gun building instructions.
Your car is the only one in a parking lot and you can’t find it.
You think your IQ is the number of coons you shot out of season.
You ever wonder what happened to that nice John F. Kennedy boy.
The fuel for your main mode of transportation is oats.
You’ve run out of room on your arm from the tattoos of all wives names.
You refuse to wash your truck on account that you have a strong suspicion that mud and rust is all that’s holding it together.
People mistakenly come to your house thinking your having a yard sale.
You’ve ever told the local sheriff that you smell a pig and he replies, “I knew I should have taken a shower after I slopped the hogs today.”
Your idea of a luxury car is one that has the white fur covered seats in it.
You think the internet is a new fishing tool.
There’s a pothole in the road and you swerve . . . to hit it.
Your Truck has more Neon on it than the window of your local bar.
You argue to the government that the budwiser plant should be one of the 7 wonders of the world.
Your kids can’t go out for Hollween because there’s nobody within walking distance to get candy from.
You buy the lot next to your house because you need the room for all your “stuff” (cars, trucks building materials).
Your idea of new siding on the house is more tar paper.
The oak tree in the front yard is an essential piece of automotive repair equipment (how else are you gonna pull the engine out of the old Dodge?)
Instead of locking the doors of your house, you keep a shotgun within reach, “just in case”.
You consider pickled deer organs a delicacy.