A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time.She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn’t get them mixed up again, she cuts out a ring from a piece of cardboard and puts it round the male parrot’s neck.A while later, the local priest visits the old lady. The male parrot takes one look at the father’s collar, wolf whistles, and says, “I see she caught you at it, too.”
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Dos maricas conversan por tel�fono:
Dos maricas conversan por tel�fono:
“�Lalo?”
“S�, Betito”.
“Oye, �y t� le sigues dando a pesar de todo el peligro que hay?”
“�Ay, s�! Yo le doy con todo el que me lo pida, cari�o…”
“Pero, �y no te da miedo eso del SIDA?”
“�Ay, s�, pero no hay otra alternativa!”
“�Por qu�?”
“Porque si das el culo, te da SIDA, y si no lo das… �Se te oxida!”
Mechanical Engineers do it with precision….
Mechanical Engineers do it with precision.
Christ did not say “Kill
Christ did not say “Kill trees for Christmas”.
What do you call a
What do you call a nun that has had a sex change operation?
-A Transistor
Learn to be sincere.
Learn to be sincere. Even if you have to fake it.
Lemon squeeze
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that
they had a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the
juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze
one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time
but nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick
glasses and a polyester suit.
“I’d like to try the bet,” he said in a tiny, squeaky voice. After the
laughter had died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. He
handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd’s
laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon
and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the
$1000 and asked the little man what he did for a living. Was he a lumberjack, or
a weightlifter, or what?
“I work for the IRS.”
Stick
What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
A Midget in a Whorehouse
A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls really wanted to serve him, So finally they drew lots and Mitzi was unlucky and went up to the room with him. A minute later, there was a loud scream. The Madam and all of the girls charged up the staircase and into the room. Mitzi lay on the floor in a dead faint.
Standing next to the bed was the midget, nude and with a three foot cock hanging down and almost touching the floor. The girls were dumbfounded by the sight. Finally, one of them regained her composure to say, “Sir, would you mind if we felt it? We’ve never seen anything like that before.”
The midget sighed. “Okay, honey; But only touching. No sucking. I used to be six feet tall.”
Estaba en el cielo una
Estaba en el cielo una fila de hombres blancos esperando a que San Pedro les tomara sus datos y los enviara a sus respectivos lugares definitivos cuando lleg� un negro.
El negro, viendo que todos en la fila eran blancos, se pone nervioso y se dice, “Ahora se van a cargar conmigo por ser negro, y me van a mandar al infierno, tengo que idearme algo.”
As� que cuando llega su turno San Pedro le pregunta su nombre y el negro contesta, “Leonardo DiCaprio”
San Pedro coge el tel�fono y dice, “Jes�s, �el Titanic se quem� o se hundi�?”
Gay Jewish Person
What do you call a gay Jewish person? A He-Blew!
Once a Cowboy
An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whisky, a young lady sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked him,
‘Are you a real cowboy?’
He replied,
‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences, so I guess I am.’
He then asked her what she was. She replied,
‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women.’
A little while later a couple sat down next to the old cowboy and asked him,
‘Are you a real cowboy?’
He replied,
‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’