HE YOUR SO COOL ILL CALL YOU COLO.
Author: admin
Virtue is its own punishment.
Virtue is its own punishment.
Stocks and Hemlines
It is believed that the stock markets go up and down with the rise and fall of the hemlines in ladies skirts and dresses.
Proof of this phenomenon is in the following historical facts:
– Glamour stocks and mini skirts soared in 1993.
– Conglomerates and hemlines went down in the spring of 1994.
– Hot pants led the Dow Jones up in 1971.
The advice to the investor then, is, “Don’t sell until you see the heights of their thighs!”
Pepito estaba en el colegio
Pepito estaba en el colegio y como nadie ven�a a recogerlo, su profesora le dice: “Si quieres vente para mi casa hasta ma�ana que vengan por ti”, y Pepito dijo que si.
Cuando estaban en la casa y ya se iban a dormir, la profesora not� que Pepito estaba un poco triste y le pregunt� que le pasaba, a lo que Pepito respondi�:
“Es que siempre antes de irme a acostar yo me acuesto con mi mam� y le meto me dedito en su ombliguito.”
Y la profesora no se le pudo resistir a la inocencia de Pepito y accede.
Pasado ya un buen rato, la profesora le dice con ternura: “Pepito, Pepito, ese no es mi ombliguito.”
Y Pepito, con una cara de pendejo, responde, “Ya se se�orita, y tampoco es mi dedito…”
Bush and Polly
Why doesn’t George W. Bush eat parrots?
A little thing called cannibalism.
Top ten reasons George W. Bush
Top ten reasons George W. Bush should be impeached
1) Compassionativity is not a word.
2) Social Security IS a federal program.
3) Benjamin Franklin did NOT invent the light bulb.
4) Trout are not extinct.
5) Brazil DOES have blacks.
6) Speaking is an important part of being president.
7) Our children is learning enough.
8) Fool me once, shame on you… fool me twice, shame on me.
9)Two words… Big Oil.
10) Sanity is an inalieble right.
Married Sailor
A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. “My love,” he wrote, “we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and there’s really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we’re constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted?”
So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, “why don’t you learn to play this?” Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. “Darling” he said, “I can’t wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!” She kissed him and said, “First let’s see you play that harmonica.”
Yo momma so fat……….
yo momma is so fat she tripped over k-mart
stumbled over walmart and landed right on target
Class Clock
The rules at a particular university were such that if the
professor was not present in the classroom by 15 minutes past
the hour, the class was considered a “walk” and the students
were free to leave — with no penalties for missing a class.
The rooms were equipped with the type of wall clocks which
“jumped” ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. As it
were, these clocks were not of the most sophisticated
construction. Some enterprising student discovered that if one
were to hit the clock with chalkboard erasers, it would cause
the clock to “jump” ahead 1 minute.
So, it became almost daily practice for these students to take
target practice at the clock (this particular professor was not
the most punctual, and the students considered him severely
“absent-minded”). A few well-aimed erasers, and lo, 15 minutes
were passed, and class dismissed itself.
Well, when the day for the next exam rolled around, the
professor strolled into the room, passed out the exams, and told
the class, “You have one hour to complete the examination”.
The professor then proceeded to collect the erasers from around
the room, gleefully took aim at the clock. When he had
successfully “jumped” the clock forward one hour, he ended the
class and collected the exam papers.
Policewoman
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police
cruiser pulled her over.
The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.
She asked for the blonde’s driver’s license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, “What does a driver’s license look like?’
Irritated, the blonde cop said, “You dummy, it’s got your picture on it!”
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.
She held it up to her face and said, “Aha! This must be my driver’s license”, then handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, “You’re free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this.”
Fish On The Wall
What did the fish say when he hit a wall?
Dam!
cupcakes
A girl and her mom go to the zoo. When they arrive at the monkey
section they notice two chimps fucking. The girl goes up to her
mom and askes her mom what are they doing. The mother thinks for
a while and tells her that the are making cupcakes. The mother
quickly takes the girls hand and walks away from the cage. The
next day the girl and her mom are sitting on a bench at the
park. They look across the road and notice there are two
teenagers having sex in the bushes. The girl surprised askes her
mother what the are doing. She quickly answers they are making
cupcakes. The mother picks up her daughter and runs home. The
next day the girl goes up to her mom and tells her that she knew
her and her father were making cupcakes the previous night. The
mother surprised asks her how she knows this. The girl looks at
her mother and answers, “I licked the frosting of the bed.”