Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
Author: admin
Donkeys’ Quixotic Journey
Who do donkeys journey to the top of the mountain to see?
The Wiseass.
If things were left to
If things were left to chance, they would be better.
Bill Gates’ Wife?
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:
“I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen”.
The surprised salesman replies: – “But madam, computers do not have curtains…”.
And the blonde said: – “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Blondes in a Freezer
Q: What do you call two blondes in a freezerA: Frosted FlakesMeghan
Bow
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Bow.
Bow Who?
Not Bow Who, Bow wow!!!!
Knock KnockWho’s there?Cyril!Cyril who?Cyril nice
Knock KnockWho’s there?Cyril!Cyril who?Cyril nice to meet you!
Una viejita fue a visitar
Una viejita fue a visitar al doctor y le dijo:
“Doctor, tengo este tremendo problema de gases, pero no me molesta mucho. Mis peditos nunca huelen y siempre son muy calladitos. �Pero, lo he estado haciendo muy seguido!”
El doctor le pidi� que le explicara con m�s detalle y la viejita contesto:
“De hecho, ya me he tirado 20 peditos en su oficina desde que entr� por la puerta. Usted probablemente no se ha dado cuenta por que no huelen ni suenan.”
El doctor le contesta, “ya veo, t�mese estas pastillas y no vemos la pr�xima semana.”
A la semana siguiente la viejita regresa y le dice, “�doctor, yo no se que diablos me dio usted! Mis pedos contin�an siendo silenciosos pero ahora huelen terrible, me quiero vomitar del asco.”
A lo que el doctor le contesta, “�Que bueno! �Ahora que ya le curamos la sinusitis, concentremos en la infecci�n de sus o�dos!”
Forest Rangers
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
Blonde Horse Sense
A blonde buys two horses and she can’t tell them apart. So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off. So she does. But then the other horse’s tail gets caught in a bush and rips off. So she can’t tell them apart again. She asks the farmer for advice a second time. He tells her to cut one of the horses ears. So she does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence. She is still confused. She asks the farmer what to do. He tells her to measure them. She comes back and says, “The white horse is 2 inches taller than the black horse!”
Dominated Spouses
Standing at the pearly gates of heaven, Albert noticed pointing to two paths. One was marked “Women” and the other marked “Men”.
He took the path assigned to men and then came upon two more gates.
The right-hand gate had a sign that read “Men Who Were Dominated By Their Spouses”; the other gate read “Men Who Were Boss And Dominated Their Spouses”. The first gate had an endless line of guys waiting, but only one little guy stood before the male domination gate.
Albert was undecided, so he walked up to the little guy standing all alone and asked, “Why are you standing at this gate, a little punk like you?”
The smallish fellow replied, “I haven’t a clue.
My wife told me to stand here.”
Celebrate
In an ancient monastery in a far away place, a new monk arrived to join
his brothers in copying books and scrolls in the monastery’s scriptorium.
He was assigned to be a rubricator on copies of books that had already
been copied by hand.
One day, he asked Father Florian (the head of the scriptorium), “Does not
the copying by hand of other copies allow for error? How do we know we are
not copying the mistakes of someone else? Are they ever checked against he
original?” Fr. Florian was taken aback by the observation of this youthful
monk. “A very good point, my son. I will take one of the latest books down
to the vault and compare it against the original.” Fr. Florian went down
to the vault and began his verification.
After a day had passed, the monks began to worry and went down looking for
the old priest. They were sure something must have happened. As they
approached the vault, they heard crying. When they opened the door, they
found Fr. Florian sobbing over the new copy and the original ancient book,
both of which were opened before him on the table. It was obvious to all
that the poor man had been crying his heart out for a long time.
“What is the problem, Reverend Father?” asked one of the monks. “Oh, my
Lord,” sobbed the priest, “the word is ‘celebrate’.”