Yours Fun Portal !
3 blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of
tracks and started arguing about what kind of tracks they were.
The first blonde said, “I think they’re deer tracks”.
The secondblonde said, “I think they’re dog tracks”.
The third blonde said, “Well, I think they’re cow tracks”.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
WHAT A DOG THINKS
Wow, these people feed me, bathe me, pet me, shelter me – they must be gods!
WHAT A CAT THINKS
Wow, these people feed me, bathe me, pet me, shelter me – I must be a god!
There was a little boy who walked onto a public bus . The little
boy started raving on and on about the facts of life to the bus
driver .
He said “if my daddy were a bull and my mommy were a cow I’d be
a little bull . If my daddy was a monkey and my mommy was a
monkey I’d be a little monkey .If my daddy were a fish and my
mommy were a …” when all of the sudden the bus driver got so
angered that he pulled the bus off the road and said to the boy
” what if your mommy was a prostatute and your daddy was
gay”.The boy thinks for a momment and then states in a cute
little voice “I’d be a bus driver”.
Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
Why are women like parking spaces?
The best ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
A wife arriving home after a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: “Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.”
“Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn-out so I gave her a pair of your shoes that you didn’t wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn’t suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don’t fit into anymore.”
“Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, ‘Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?’ So, here we are!”
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
Bill Clinton virus – System makes lots of noise, but nothing happens.
A horse walks into a bar….ouch
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are on top of a mountain when a genie appears infront of them. “You may all have one wish.” says the genie. “But, whatever you wish for you will land in once you jump off the cliff.”
The Englishman jumps off the cliff and shouts “GOLD!”
The Scotsman jumps off the cliff and shouts “WHISKEY!”
The Irishman goes to jump of the cliff, trips over a rock and says “Oh Shit!”
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked
Adam, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God
said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called �woman�.
God said, “This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will
always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never
ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not
nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a
disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give “love” and
compassion whenever needed.” Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?” God
said, “An arm and a leg.” Adam said, “What can I get for just a rib?” The rest
is history…