These came from the mouths of geeks
and nerds, and all with a nerdy laugh at
the end:
its not earth to eric–its mars to eric!!!
i dont want you to be screwed, i want you
to be nailed!!!
your mama is so stupid she made the
anti-deans list!!!
Yours Fun Portal !
These came from the mouths of geeks
and nerds, and all with a nerdy laugh at
the end:
its not earth to eric–its mars to eric!!!
i dont want you to be screwed, i want you
to be nailed!!!
your mama is so stupid she made the
anti-deans list!!!
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter
was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and
adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family
doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and
any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.
He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth
control and, until then, talk to her and give her a box of
condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date,
the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of
condoms.
The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother
saying, “Oh Mom! You don’t have to worry about that! I’m dating
Susan!”
THERE WAS A GIRL AND A MOM WALKING DOWN THE PARK THE GIRL SAW SOMEONE HAVING SEX SHE ASKED MOMMY MOMMY WHAT ARE THEY DOING SHE SAID MAKING CUP CAKES LATER SHE SEES SOMEONE
ELSE HAVING SEX SHE SAID MOMMY WHAT ARE THEY DOING SHE SAID HAVING CUP CAKES LATER THAT NIGHT HER MOM AND DAD WERE HAVING SEX THEN THE LITTLE GIRL SAID MOM WERE YOU AND DAD HAVING CUP CAKES CAUSE I LICKED THE CREAM FILLING OF THE SOFA
1. Take off your socks, and make hand puppets. When asked a question throw
your hand up and answer through your socks. Have one puppet accuse the other of
having the wrong answer, and let them argue.
2. Take spare gum out from under your desk and mold a statue of one of your
classmates. Try to sell it to them.
3. Mimic your classmate’s facial expressions. If they notice, keep doing it
until they get mad. If they get mad, keep doing it until they make a scene. If
they make a scene, raise your hand and complain that he/she is distracting you.
4. March into the classroom yelling, “Hut, two three, four.” Take role call in
your best General voice. If they don’t answer say, “I saaaid, (Name of
classmate)” Keep doing so until answered.
5. Bring in a fishing pole and try to “catch” your teacher. Keep saying things
like, “The last one got away,” or, “Get the net, It’s a big one!”
6. Make up the corniest joke you can and announce it to the teacher. Example:
Do you think that if Mexico and Texas ever got together, they would call it
“Texaco?”
7. Get out a comb and part your hair down the middle, going all the way down
the back. Borrow a pair of glasses and put them on backwards. Sit in the chair
backwards with your arms behind you, on the desk. If no one notices wait about 5
minutes then scream, “That Stupid Chiropractor!”
8. Get a pair of 3-d glasses. Wobble around while walking and keep yelling,
“Whoah, that looked so real!”
9. Start a debate on (pick a subject such as whose cooler, best color of
shoes, smart or dumb, etc.) Get a representative from each side. Have those two
debate, explaining pros and cons, get the teacher, and say, “All I said was
‘those are neat shoes’ and then this happened!”
10. Bring in a dog and dress it in your clothes, sit it in your seat, and talk
for it. Hide somewhere in the classroom before your teacher comes in. Try to
pass him off as you, while occasionaly mumbling, “I should have never mixed in
that citric acid.”
Follow your dream! Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in your
underwear during a fire drill.
The ozone layer or cheese in a spray can…
Don’t make me choose.
While driving down the road the motorist saw a roadside stand which had a fortune teller sitting under an umbrella. She was just sitting there smiling and laughing. The motorist passed on by and went a couple of miles on down the road. All of a sudden he spun his car around and sped back toward the fortune teller. As he got closer to the still laughing fortune teller he began to slow down. He pulled up next to the woman and jumped out of his car and suddenly began slapping and beating her.A policeman passing by screeched to a stop and wrestled the man to the ground. After cuffing the man he stood him up and asked him, “What do you think you’re doing?”After a moment the man replied, … “Well, I’ve always wanted to strike a happy medium.”
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com
Knock KnockWho’s there?Willa!Willa who?Willa you marry me!
What does a blonde say after she`s had sex? “All you boys on the same team?”
Un granjero y su esposa estaban descansando en la cama; ella estaba tejiendo, mientras �l le�a una revista sobre animales de granja.
De pronto, �l levant� la vista de la p�gina y le dijo a su esposa: “�Sab�as que los humanos somos la �nica especie en la que las hembras tienen orgasmos?”
Ella lo mir� maliciosamente, sonri�, y le replic�: “�Ah, s�? �Pru�bamelo!”
El granjero se levant� y sali� de la habitaci�n, dejando a su esposa totalmente confundida.
Despu�s de una hora, el granjero regres� todo cansado y sudoroso y declar�:
“Bueno, estoy seguro de la vaca y la oveja, pero por la forma en que chilla la marrana �qui�n puede saber si tuvo un orgasmo?”
Instead of flossing you use a plunger.You take the back window out of your pickup because it’s easier to chuck the empty beer cans in the back that way.When the back fills up with empty beer cans, you get another pickup and start all over again.
Yo mama’s so stupid she thought asphalt was a rectal disorder.