How do you knwo if your at a gay party?
The hotdogs taste like shit.
Author: admin
You can’t tell how deep
You can’t tell how deep a puddle is until you step into it.
Question and answer blonde joke
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?A: Bobbing for french fries.
DUI
Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.”Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called “Happy Hour” and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o’ those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O’ course I had to go in for a couple of Guinness – couldn’t be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later ..” And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection.The officer sighed, and said, “Sir, I’m afraid I’ll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyser test.”Indignantly, the man said, “Why? Don’t ye believe me???!!!”
Vet Analysis
A man takes his rabbit to the vet and asks “Is it dead?”
The vet looks, and says “Yes”.
The man then asks for a second opinion, at which point the vet presses a button under his desk and in walks a labrador dog.
He goes over to the rabbit, sniffs at it, shakes his head and walks away.
The vet then presses another button scruffy old moggy who sniffs the rabbit, paws at it, attempts to hunt it and then shakes it`s head.
The vet then says to the man “That will be �80 please”.
The man (incredulous) says “What do you mean �80?”
The vet says “It would have been only �10 for the consultation but you did insist on the lab report and the cat scan.”
Hotel Postcard
Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his pants, uproots a plant, and takes a shit in the pot. Then he puts the plant back in the pot and leaves.Two weeks later, he gets a postcard from the hotel that says: “Dear Mr. Burford… All is forgiven. Just tell us…where is it?”
Shooting
A 80 year old man got his 18 year old wife pregnant, so he goes to the doctor and says hell the hell did that happend. the doctor says hmmmm reminds me of a old story i know about how a little boy was in the woods and a grizzly bear came out so the little boy picked up a rock and held it like it was a gun and the bear died. After the doctor told him the storie the 80 year old man said well it seems like somone else was doing the shooting and the doctor replied my point exactly.
Knock Knock 187
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Vivaldi!
Vivaldi who?
Vivaldi books, there’s nothing to read!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Vlad!
Vlad who?
Vlad to meet you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Voodoo!
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Waddle!
Waddle who?
Waddle you give me if I go away!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Wade!
Wade who?
Wade till next time!
I Believe I Can Die
To the tune of “I believe I can fly”.
I believe I can die
I’ll fall from the fucking sky
And when I hit the cement ground
I will make an awful sound
I believe I’ll feel sore
When I run into the fucking doooor
I believe I can die
I believe I can die
I believe I can die
2010
Regarding the year 2010, a senior at W.V.U. was overheard saying ….
“When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in West Virginia.”
When asked why, he stated that everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the civilized world.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
Why not get a job?
Father: Why don’t you get yourself a job?Son: Why? Father: So you could earn some money.Son: Why? Father: So you could put some money in a bank and earn interest. Son: Why? Father: So that when you’re old you can use the money in your bank account …and you would never have to work again. Son: I’m not working now.
Sheep
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and died brown.
A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass.
Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?”
The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, “Of course.” The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, “352.”
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandable, totally amazed and exclaimed, “You’re right! O.K., I’ll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock.”
The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, “O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”