You’re a redneck if …. You ever had sex in a satellite dish.
Author: admin
smells good
(Q.)What does a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?
(A.)They both can smell it but can’t taste it.
What did the fish say when he swam into the brick wall?
Dam!
Hands are for ….
Cocks do not have hands, why?
-Because chickens do not have breasts
Aerial photos
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire.
He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown.
Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, “Let’s go!”
The tense man sitting in the pilot’s seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.
“Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make several low-level passes.”
“Why?” asked the nervous pilot.
“Because I’m going to take pictures!” yelled the photographer. “I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures.”
The pilot replied, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
Sorry for eating the peanuts
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl. “I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!””That’s okay, dearie,” the aunt replied. “After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway.”
JUMP ROPE
WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A SNAKE WITH A KANGAROO?
JUMP ROPE
You’re a redneck … your mama can back
You’re a redneck if …. Your mama can back down a biker.
Climb the Walls
The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”
The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that my dear,” she asked.
The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again.”
Flunking Sex Educati
Three boys received their grades from their female sex education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F.”One day we should get her for this,” said the first boy.”I agree. We’ll grab her…” said the second.”Yeah,” said the third.”And then we’ll kick her in the nuts!”
But contacting the dead is at best difficult,…
But contacting the dead is at best difficult, since most deceased are
reluctant to speak up, and those that do seem to hem and haw before
getting to the point.
Frog on the Lady’s Head
A lady with a frog stuck to her head comes to the doctor’s office. When the
doctor asked her what’s wrong the frog says, �I got something stuck to my ass!�