Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
Author: admin
Cinderella Re-Mix
One day when Cinderella was doing her chores, a letter came in
the mail about a ball that was going to be that night. So she
thought, wow, I get to go to my first ball! Right before she was
about to go and get changed one of her step-sisters came and
grabbed the letter out of her hand. Her step-sister told her
she wasn’t aloud to go, but she wanted to go so bad!!! That
night while the ball was going on, her fairy godmother came and
told her she will make her a different person so she could go to
the ball.
“That is not the problem fairy godmother,” Cinderella said
“What is,” asked the godmother
Cinderella then said, “I have my period, so I don’t want to
bleed all over the place.”
Her Godmother said, “Well that is an easy problem to solve, I
will give you a magic tampon, but when the clock strikes 12:00
it will turn into a pumkin, so you need to change it before
then.”
“Ok ok,” said Cinderella, “I will Thank You Godmother!”
So Cinderella went to the ball and was having so much fun! Well
12:00 rolled around, and she was still dancing and having a
great time! So the fairy godmother told herself, ok I will give
her until 1:00. 1:00 came around, and she still hadn’t changed
it. So then the godmother said to herself, i will give her
until 1:30 no later.
1:30 came around and still she hadn’t taken it out, but the
godmother said to herself “oh well, i have to change it into a
pumpkin!” When Cinderella came home at 3:00 in the morning, the
fairy godmother said to her, “so did it change to a pumpkin?”
Cinderella told her, ” Yes, but I didn’t care, I meant someone
named Peter Peter.”
10 insults to use on people you hate
monkey fucker
floppy donkey dick licker
hillbilly hoe
go fuck a duck
go eat some squirl nuts
eat shitand die
life is a bitch
short lil dick face
whorey hoe
you have a spring dick
Entertaining the Troops
The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them, the Major called for this HOT dancer from the nearby town.
She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes.
For her second number she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G string. This time the applause went for 10 minutes.
The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on. The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale.
For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked. The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage.
The Major asks her, “What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?”
She replied with a wicked smile, “Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand ?!”
Un hombre entra en un
Un hombre entra en un local de tatuajes y solicita que le tat�en un billete de $100 en el pene. El artista de tatuaje se r�e y le ofrece:
“Te lo hago gratis, si me puedes dar una buena raz�n para lo que pides”.
El tipo piensa por un segundo y aclara:
“Primero, me gusta guardar mi dinero dentro de mis pantalones; segundo, me gusta ver c�mo crece mi dinero y tercero, quiero ver que tan r�pido se puede gastar mi esposa un billete de $100”.
Yo mama is so stupid
Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Elefant
what do u give a elefant with diariya? lots of room
Woman’s Guide to Men
“I’m hungry” = I’m hungry.
“I’m sleepy” = I’m sleepy.
“I’m tired” = I’m tired.
“I’ve gotta pee” = Get out of the way.
“I’ve gotta GO” = Get out of the way and stay away until it clears
“Can I call you sometime?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
“Do you want to go to a movie?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
“Can I take you out to dinner?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
“Can I get your coat?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
“Let me get your door.” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
“May I have this dance?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
“Nice dress!” = Nice cleavage!
“You look tense, let me give you a massage.” = I want to fondle you.
“What’s wrong?” = I don’t see why are you making such a big deal out of this.
“What’s wrong?” = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
“What’s wrong?” = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
“I’m bored.” = Do you want to have sex?
“I love you.” = Let’s have sex now.
“I love you too.” = Okay, I said it…we’d better have sex now!
“Good morning.” = That was great sex……let’s have more!
“See you later.” = That was great sex……let’s have more!
“Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.” = I liked it better before.
“Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.” = $50 and it doesn’t look that much different!
“Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.” = For $50 they should have GIVEN you hair!
“Let’s talk.”= I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me.
“Will you marry me?” = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
“Will you marry me?” = I might as well get tax benefits for going through these “talks”
While shopping:
“Yes, that one’s nice” = Why do you ask when you aren’t going to listen anyway?
“That one looks great on you” = Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go home!
“I like that one better.” = Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go home!
“Uh huh” = Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go home!
“I don’t think that blouse and that skirt go well together.” = I am gay.
Mickeys problems
One morning micky mouse woke up got dressed and looked out his bedroom window “oh what a beuatifull day he thought “when all of a sudden he looked down in the snow and written in urin a message sayed “micky sucks” so he whent to the police to see who did, it the next morning the police called him and says ” hey mickey we have bad news and worse news , the bad news is its goofy’s urin , the worse news is its minnies handwriting.
Got Every Woman in Town
Two Irishmen are sitting in a small town bar, where Mick bragged to Sean, “You know, I had me every woman in this town, except of course, me mother and me sister.””Well,” Sean replied, “between you and me we got ’em all.”
A treatise on money and power
After applying some simple algebra to some common phrases and cliches, a new understanding can be reached of the secret of wealth and success.
Here it goes.
(K)nowledge is (P)ower
(T)ime is (M)oney, and as every engineer knows,
(P)ower is (W)ork over (T)ime.
So, substituting algebraic equations for these time-worn bits of wisdom, we get:
K = P (1)
T = M (2)
P = W/T (3)
Now, do a few simple substitutions:
Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
K = W/T (4)
Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
K = W/M (5).
Now we’ve got something. Expanding back into English, we get:
Knowledge equals Work over Money.
What this MEANS is that:
1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do,
and
2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.
Solving for Money, we get:
M = W/K (6)
Money equals Work Over Knowledge.
From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, regardless of the Work done.
What THIS MEANS is:
The More you Make, the Less you Know.
Solving for Work, we get
W = M x K (7)
Work equals Money times Knowledge
From equation (7) we see that Work approaches 0 as Knowledge approaches 0.
What THIS MEANS is:
The stupid rich do little or no work.
Working out the socioeconomic implications of this breakthrough is left as an exercise for the reader.
If Airlines Sold Paint…
Customer: How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.
Customer: Depends on what?
Clerk: Actually, it depends on a number of things.
Customer: Well, what is your average price for a gallon of paint?
Clerk: Wow-that’s too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon,
but we have 150 different prices ranging up to $200 per gallon.
Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?
Clerk: There isn’t any difference. It’s all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then, I’d like some of the $9 paint.
Clerk: Well, before I sell you that paint, you need to answer a few
questions. First, when do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.
Clerk: Well, if you want to use the paint tomorrow, I can only sell you
the $200 paint.
Customer: When would I have to paint in order to get the $9 paint?
Clerk: To get the $9 paint, you would have to use it three weeks from
now, and you have to start painting on a Friday and continue to paint until
Sunday night.
Customer: You’ve got to be kidding!
Clerk: Sir, we don’t kid around here. Please wait while I check to see
if we have any $9 paint.
Customer: There’s some on the shelf right there-I can see it!
Clerk: That’s the same paint all right but we can sell only a certain
number of gallons for the weekend that you want to paint. Ooops-the price
just went up to $17 a gallon.
Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times
a day, and since you haven’t actually left the store with your paint yet,
we just decided to raise the price. Unless you want the same thing to
happen again, I suggest you get on with your purchase. How many gallons
do you want?
Customer: I don’t know exactly. Maybe five gallons, no, make it six
gallons so I’m sure I have enough.
Clerk: If you don’t use all the paint, you’ll be penalized.
Customer: But if I’ve already paid for the paint, what does it matter if
I don’t use all of it?
Clerk: That’s just the way it is, sir.
Customer: Well, that does it! I’m going somewhere else to buy my paint.
Clerk: Good luck, sir. All of our competitors have similar rules. You’d
better just buy your paint here, while our lowest price is still $28 a
gallon.