What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell cause she’s got a grenade in her mouth!
Author: admin
I always turn to the sports page first, which…
I always turn to the sports page first, which record people’s
accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man’s failures.
– Chief Justice Earl Warren
Devils Fun
A guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the
punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first
punishment.
The first room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not
keen on this asks to see the next room. The next room has a middle aged
guy being tortured with fire.
The new guy immediately asks to see the third room. It has an really old
guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a gorgeous blonde.
The guy jumps at the chance and takes the room.
The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on the shoulder and says
“okay, you can stop now. You’ve been relieved”.
Blonde goes to the bar
Q: Why did the blonde take a ladder to the bar?
A: Because she heard that drinks were on the house!
Fat housewife
A big fat housewife is on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor, when she suddenly yells to her husband, “Come here quick, Charlie! I’m paralyzed! I can’t get up!”He comes in, takes a look, and says, “Stand up, you silly old bat. You’re kneeling on one of your tits.”
Gay Guy
Why did the gay guy cross the rode??
He had his dick stuck up the chickens arse!
Why did the blonde have square boobs ?
Because she forgot to take the tissue out of the box
Talk with God
MAN: God, my girlfriend is so pretty and has such pretty hair.
GOD: I know, I made her that way so you would love her.
MAN: God, she has such beautiful blue eyes.
GOD: I know I made them for her so you would love her.
MAN: There is only one thing wrong with her. She is a little dense.
GOD: I know..I made her that way so she could love YOU!
Fire in the hole
What do you do when a blonde trowes a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and trow it back
Yo Mamma
Yo mamma’s armpits are so hairy, it looks like she got Don King in a headlock!
Una mujer y un cura
Una mujer y un cura en el confesionario:
“Padre, por favor b�seme los senos.”
“Mujer blasfema, esos senos con que das de lactar a tus hijos, �10 padres nuestros y diez avemar�as!”
“Al rato, despu�s de rezar las plegarias:
“�Padre, m�tamelo por la boca, por favor!”
“�Mujer inmunda!, con esos labios besas a tus hijos, �50 padres nuestros y 50 avemar�as!”
“Padre, yo le rezo todo lo que quiera �pero s�queme el pene del culo que me duele�”
What has four legs and
What has four legs and smells like fish?
Clinton’s desk.