Knock KnockWho’s there?Berlin!Berlin who?Berlin the water for my hard boiled eggs!
Author: admin
15 Signs Your Librarian is Nuts
15> Entire library stock replaced by 50,000 copies of “Yes, I Can” by Sammy Davis, Jr.14> Half-dozen recently-extracted tongues stapled to the “Quiet Please” sign.13> Recommends Kato Kaelin’s book.12> Instead of scanning barcode on book at checkout, seductively licks the inside cover.11> Library only has two sections: “Limbaugh” and “Liddy.”10> Inserts boudoir photos of herself in copies of Gray’s Anatomy. 9> When you ask for an appendix, she winks suggestively and shows you her scar. 8> Replaces the overdue book fine with canings from the “Rod of Literary Tardiness”. 7> Files Art Buchwald under “Humor” 6> Always doing donuts with the bookmobile in the video store parking lot. 5> No matter what book you ask for, she hands you a piece of toast and a Q-tip. 4> Uses the “Dewer’s Decimal System”, which involves regular belts of scotch. 3> Instead of a simple “Shhhh”, uses a bullhorn to say, “One more sound and I cap yo’ ass!” 2> Flashes patrons and yells, “Hey! Check *this* out!” 1> Leans over to whisper something and bites off half of your right ear.
Q: How many guitarists
Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Five. One to change it, and four to stand around going “Huh ! I could’ve done that !”
The trouble with some women
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing
(and then they marry him.)
Moocow!
This gay guy walks into the bar and says,� Bartender I am gay but I would like
to stay and have a drink�.
So he replied�, Ok, you can stay if you go to the end of the bar and not mess
with anyone.”
So the guy accepted and walked away.
A little while after that a big John Wayne Character walks in as says�,
Bartender, I’d Like a brew sky.”
Well, the bartender gave it to him and the Character drank it in one sip.
He slammed down the mug and said�, I fell like a stud bull!” and the gay guy
said,”Mooo!”
Lord, forgive me…
Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do
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A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the police
raided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer
said, “Father Murphy, were you gambling?”
Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, “Lord, forgive me
for what I am about to do.” To the police officer, he then said,
“No, officer; I was not gambling.”
The officer then asked the minister, “Pastor Johnson, were you
gambling?”
Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, “No,
officer; I was not gambling.”
Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asked, “Rabbi Goldstein,
were you gambling?”
Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied, “With whom?”
Life of an egg compared to a man
If you think a guy’s life is bad compare it to an egg.
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard.
It takes 2 minutes to get soft.
You have to share a box with eleven other guys.
And the only chick to sit on your face is your mother.
Biggest Sex Life Lie
A minister passed a group of teenaged boys sitting on the church lawn.
“Evening, boys. What are you doing?”
“Nothing much, Pastor,” replied the one lad. “We’re just seeing who can tell
the biggest lie about his sex life.”
“Boys, boys, boys!” intoned the minister. “I’m shocked. When I was your age, I
never thought about sex at all.”
The boys looked at each other and then said in unison, “You win, Pastor!”
Your mother
your mother is sssssssssssoooooooooooooo fat wen people see her they shout fat bitch
Knock KnockWho’s there?Hiawatha!Hiawatha who?Hiawatha very
Knock KnockWho’s there?Hiawatha!Hiawatha who?Hiawatha very bad today!
I’ve suffered enough, when does
I’ve suffered enough, when does my artwork improve?
Loving the Teacher
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eight-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, “Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?””I’m in love,” the boy replied.Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?””With YOU!” he said. “But Johnny,” she said gently, “don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child.””Oh, don’t worry,” the boy said reassuringly, “I’ll use a rubber!”