Hab�an tres borrachas manejando en

Hab�an tres borrachas manejando en un carro, pero ya estaban hasta la madre de borrachas, as� que chocaron contra un poste y se fueron al cielo.

Cuando llegaron se encontraron a San Pedro y les dice:

“Para que puedan entrar les voy a hacer una pregunta y si la responden bien se les abrir�n las puertas del cielo.”

“Bueno”, dijeron las tres.

“A ver, t�, �c�ando es navidad?”

Y una le sopla y le dice:

“25 de diciembre.”

“�25 de diciembre!” grita la otra.

Y se le abren las puertas del cielo.

Dice san pedro: “A ver t�, dime un nombre de los tres reyes magos.”

La misma tipa que le sopl� le dice a la otra: “Melchor.”

“�Melchor!” grita, y se le abren las puertas del cielo.

Acto siguiente, le dice San Pedro a la soplona:

“Como tu dijiste a la otras dos las respuestas te voy a poner la m�s dif�cil. Me vas a decir qu� fue lo �ltimo que le dijo Bill Clinton a M�nica Lewinsky.”

La mujer le responde rasc�ndose la cabeza:

“Ahora s� me la puso dura…”

Y se le abrieron las puertas del cielo.

This one has always been my favorite.

A Sailor is relieving himself in the head when a Marine walks in and steps up
to the urinal beside him.
After a few seconds the Sailor finishes, shakes, zips and walks over to the
sink to wash his hands. The Marine also finishes, zips-up, and walks to the
door.
Just then the Sailor says, “Hey Marine! When I was in boot camp, they
taught us to wash our hands when we finished!”
The Marine looks at the Sailor and says, “When I was in boot camp, they told
me not to piss on my hands.”

Ya Wanna Find Jesus?

A drunk man stumbled into a church where there were baptisms being performed. The priest noticed him and asked him if he wanted to find Jesus. “Sure,” said the drunk man.”I’ll find Jesus.” So the priest took the drunk man’s head and dunked it into the baptismal waters. When he came up for air, he was sputtering and couging.”Damn,” said the drunk man.”Are you sure he fell in there?”

The Goose that Laid that Egg

A goose laid an egg in a redneck’s garden.

The owner of the goose went round to his house and asked for the
egg.

“Sorry man,” came the reply, “In these parts, if goose lays egg
in garden, owner of garden gets egg!”

The goose owner said, “Where I come from, we settle disputes
like this: I kick you in your nuts, you kick me in mine and so
on until one gives in. The winner gets the egg.”

The redneck replied, “Seems ok to me, go ahead.”

At this, the goose owner took a run at the redneck and landed
his boot smack in the middle of the redneck’s groin. The redneck
kneeled over in agony and sat on the floor to recover. He then
shouted over to the goose guy and said, “Ok now it’s my turn.”

The goose guy replied, “Naa, you keep the egg!”

Llega un negrito del Choco

Llega un negrito del Choco y observa a su patrona desde un agujero de la puerta, mientras �sta sale totalmente desnuda y se despereza diciendo: “Uuuuyy qu� modorra…”

El negro, admirado de escuchar el amplio l�xico de la patrona, se va inmediatamente para donde la negra que era su mujer y repite la escena que vio donde la patrona; mientras tanto la negra va saliendo y lo observa todo desnudo y le grita la negra:

“�Ay Jos� Mar�a, vos que haces todo viringote all�!”

Y le responde el negro, queriendo imitar a la patrona para llamar la atenci�n de la negra:

“�Uuuuyy, negra, es que tengo una gonorrea…!”

Italian On Bus

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation.The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:”Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more.””You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly, “in this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!””Hey, coola down lady,” said the man, “Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi.”