A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital.
“This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well.”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Author: admin
Q: How many procrastinators
Q: How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One–but he has to wait until the light is better.
Spell Checker
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue,
Mistakes I cannot see.
I’ve run this poem threw it,
I’m sure your please to no,
its letter perfect in it’s weigh,
my checker tolled me sew.
The Most Revolting Jokes You Have EVER Read
Q: What do you get when you stab an 8 year old girl 15 times?
A: Ahard on.
Q: What’s the worst thing about sleeping with 12 year olds?
A: The long ride back from the desert.
Q: What’s the best thing about having sex with an 8 year old girl?
A: If you turn them over they look like 8 year old boys.
All the small things
This is my version of the blink182 song all the smallthings
all the small things like your penis it so small you fuck the
wall say it ain’t so your mom is a hoe rip my dick of fuck me at
home na na na ah late night come home work sucks she left me
condoms on the stairs those things let me know she cares. say
it ain’t so your mom is a hoe
Q: What’s long and hard that a Polish bride…
Q: What’s long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A: A new last name.
No Mercy
A guy is driving down a deserted highway.
He pulls up to an intersection, and rolls through the stop sign.
From out of nowhere, a cop car pulls him over.
COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
GUY: Hey, I slowed down, didn’t I???
COP: You must come to a full stop at the sign.
GUY: Stop. Slow down. What’s the difference?
The cop pulls out his baton and starts to pound the man without mercy.
COP: Well? Do you want me to STOP or SLOW DOWN?
Bumper Crop O’ Bumper Stickers
� bush happens
� life is like a box of chocolates. looks like we got a bad one. (impeach
bush)
� jesus loves you. everyone else thinks you’re an a******.
� vegetarians taste better
� there is absolutely no excuse for the way i’m about to drive
� if you’re reading this, it’s time to mind your own business!
� don�t steal. the government hates competition
� i�m from texas. yep, we lug are bush. he’s jest as smart as we art
� honk if you like peace and quiet
Sudden death
A man rushed into a doctor’s office and said “Doctor! I’m going to die in 59 seconds!” The doctor, who was busy with another patient said “Hang on just one minute!”
MOP AND GLOW – Floor
MOP AND GLOW – Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.
Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced Travele
* Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase “Free Ammo”* There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.* Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars.* Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.* In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.* Consider very carefully visiting a country where the license plate motto is “Die American Pig”
Canadian Gum
A Michigan man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a diner
when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Michigan man
politely ignored the Canadian, who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The
Canadian snapped his gum and said, “You Michigan folk eat the whole bread?”
The Michigan man sighed, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and
replied, “Of course.”
The Canadian blew a huge bubble. “We don’t. In Canada, we only eat what’s
inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into
croissants and sell them to Michigan.” The Canadian had a smirk on his face.
The Michigan man listened in silence. The Canadian persisted. “D’ya eat jelly
with the bread?”
The Michigan man rolled his eyes and replied, “Of course.”
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Canadian said, “We don’t. In Canada,
we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and
leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to
Michigan.”
The Michigan man then asked, “Do you have sex in Canada?” The Canadian smiled
and said, “Why of course we do.” The Michigan leaned closer to him and asked,
“And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?”
“We throw them away, of course.”
The Michigan smiled and said, “We don’t. In Michigan, we put them in a
container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the
Canadians.”