Bob: Hey dick, “Did you know that they are blaming O.J Simpson’s football
coach for commiting the murders?”
Dick: “Are they really Bob?”
Bob: “Yeah really.”
Dick: “What for?”
Bob: “He told O.J to cut right, cut left and run like hell!”
Author: admin
There is no job so
There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrnog.
Celtic
Celtic Football Club. Ha that is a joke, cmon the gers!!!!!!!!!
Weathermen do it rain or shine….
Weathermen do it rain or shine.
How to drowned a blond
Q: how do you drowned a blonde?
A: put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.
El padre se dirige a
El padre se dirige a sus feligreses:
“Si tienen fe sanar�n, si tienen fe sanar�n; pongan su mano sobre la parte afectada y el milagro ocurrir�”.
Una pareja de viejitos est� oyendo el serm�n. El septuagenario disimuladamente baja la mano y la pone en la ingle. La viejita lo ve y le dice:
“Viejo, �l habl� de milagro de sanaci�n, no de resurrecci�n”.
Joke found on http://www.loschistes.com
Q: How many Puerto Ricans does it take to…
Q: How many Puerto Ricans does it take to grease a car?
A: Just one if you hit him right.
Cinderella and Tampon
Cinderella REALLY wanted to go to Prince Charming’s ball, but as you know the evil stepsisiers and stepmother will not let her. So they leave her all alone on the big night, cleaning the place.
“Oh, how I wish I could go!” Cinderella sighed.
No sooner had she said this than her Fairy Godmother appeared, holding a long, beautiful white dress.
“Here, god-child,” the fairy said, “try this on.”
So Cinderella puts the thing on, and it fits perfectly, except she notices some red drops on the white fabric. “Dammit” Cinderella said” of all the lousy nights to get my period!”
So the God mother presents her with a magic Tampon to solve the problem, but the tampon has a warning on it: “Please return to the house by midnight or the tampon will be turned into a pumpkin.”
Cinderella puts it in her and goes to the Ball.
Meanwhile, the Fairy Godmother awaits Cinderella’s return. 10 o’clock –11 o’clock –12 o’clock–1 o’clock
Finally, at around 3 in the morning, a very out of breath Cinderella stumbles in “My God! What happened to you? What about the tampon? What about the prince?”
“Forget the prince” Cinderella sighed.” At around one o’clock I met the most amazing guy…Peter Peter something…”
Mark McGwire on Simpsons
What character would Mark McGwire play on the Simpsons?
Homer!
Peace Keeping Mission
A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Afghanistan as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.Our intrepid soldier raised his hand and asked, “If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?””Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.”
Soup support
Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead. Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl! Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour. Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato. Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I’m running late now. [waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check] Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check. Patron: This is potato soup. Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet. Patron: Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything. [waiter leaves.] Patron: Waiter! There’s a gnat in my soup! The check: Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50 Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00
Ballerina
What did the ballerina do when she hurt her foot?
She called the toe truck!