This one girl was going to go on her first date, she was so excited that she called her grandma up to tell her the news. Grandma tells the girl when you go on your date the man is going to want to hold your hand and you will like this but don’t let him do it.Then the man is going to touch your leg you’ll like that too but don’t let him do it,then the man is going to try and get on top of you and you’ll like that but don’t let him do it you’ll disgrace the family. So the girl listened and promised her grandma she would not do ant of those things.The next day the girl called and told her grandma, “Grandma I did not let him do any of the things you told me about, so when he tried to get on top of me I got on top of him instead and disgraced his family.
Author: admin
Michel jackson
knock kncok
whos there
lil boy blue
lil boy blue who
michel jackson
whats the xbox and michel jackson and the xbox got in common
thay both get turned on by kids
Yo mommas so fat…
Yo mommas so fat that when she sat on a rainbow skittles popped out
Another Late Night . . .
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o’clock in the morning?”
“There is.” he replied, “Breakfast.”
Irish on Vacation
Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?
A: A new bar.
“A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.”
Carrie Snow
Dos amigos conversaban en la
Dos amigos conversaban en la barra de un bar y el uno le pregunta:
“�Por qu� est�s preocupado?”
“Ya es muy tarde y mi mujer me va a matar.”
“No te preocupes, llega calladito, te metes bajo las s�banas, le sacas el calz�n a tu mujer y le practicas el sexo oral. A ella le va a encantar y no te dir� nada.”
El tipo llega a su casa entra despacio se quita la ropa se mete debajo de las s�banas le saca el calz�n y le practica el sexo oral. Ella gem�a y gem�a, y por fin termina. El se levanta, se va al ba�o y al entrar ve a su esposa sentada en el ba�o, asustado le dice:
“�C�mo llegaste ac� tan r�pido?”
La esposa le contesta:
“No hagas ruido que mi mam� est� durmiendo en nuestra cama.”
Lobsters
A police officer was driving his patrol car down next to a beach
when he noticed a man knee deep in the water holding two red
things, he wasn’t sure what they were. The officer made his way
down the sand to meet the man standing in the water. As he
approached he noticed that the two red things were lobsters.
The officer said to the man “its illegal to be poaching for
lobsters, you know”.
“What are you talking about?” he said startled, “these are my
pet lobsters”.
“Sure they are!” replied the policeman.
“No, I’m serious. I will throw them into the waves and call them
back. They will come”.
“This I have to see”. Chuckled the officer.
So the man launched the two lobsters back into the ocean and
stood there watching them.
“I thought you said you could call those two lobsters back” said
the cop.
“Lobsters?” replied the man, “what lobsters?”
TAXI
YOUE MAMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE PUT ON A RAIN COAT PEOPLE STARTED SCREAMING TAXI
Nobody goes to that restaurant
Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It’s too crowded.
Firm this up.
A woman comes out of the shower one morning. Her husband sneaks up behind her, grabs a hold of her breasts, and says ‘honey, if you firm these up a little bit you wouldn’t have to wear a bra quite as much.’
She was furious and didn’t speak to him for the rest of the week.
The next week, as she comes out of the shower, he sneaks up behind her again, grabs a hold of her buttocks, and says ‘honey, if you firm these up a little bit, you wouldn’t have to wear a girdle quite as much.
Well she was furious.
Next morning, he comes out of the shower, and she sneaks up behind him, grasp a hold of his penis, and says ‘you know honey, if you firm this up a little bit, I wouldn’t have to see your brother quite as much!!!”
Yo mama so fat….
yo mama so fat the last time she seen 90210,was when she got on the scale