Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side!
Author: admin
The green monster
there was one a boy who in school went to the bathroom and zipped up his pants and his penis got stuck so then it turned green. Then this girl goes up to him and askes him can i play with ur little green thing and the boy goes sure why dont u come to my house and bring some robots cause i have some barbies and we can play with so then the girl goes to his house and hes tired so he then lays on the bed and falls asleep and the girl goes to the bathroom and the boy then wakes up in a hospital and he askes how come im here and the girl say your little green thing threw up on me so i cut it off.
Yo mama is so fat
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Mort!Mort who?Mort to
Knock KnockWho’s there?Mort!Mort who?Mort to the point, who are you!
Your mama
yo mamas so fat she fell and got up and pulled the white house out of her belly button
I once worked as a
I once worked as a salesman and was very independent; I took orders from no one.
Gonner
One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air.
She asked, “Daddy, Daddy, why are Muffles legs in the air?”
Thinking quickly, her dad replied, “This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier.”
The next day when Susie’s dad came home, she ran up to him and said, “Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today.”
Flustered, her father said, “Honey, what happened?”
“Well, Mommy’s legs were up in the air and she was screaming ‘Oh Jesus, I’m coming, I’m coming’ and if it wasn’t for the milkman holding her down she would have been a gonner.”
Submitted By Calamjo
Edited by dolly04
Trip To The Uterus
Two sperm are swimming along and the one is starting to get tired. He asks his buddy, “how far do you think is it to the uterus? I’m getting pretty tired!”
His buddy says, “I’m not sure but I think it is a long way; we just passed the esophagus!”
Bill Clinton and Al Gore
One day when Bill Clinton and Al Gore were in Nashville, Al took Bill on a
tour of his farm east of there. After a tour of the barn, they walked around
behind it and discovered a sheep with it’s head stuck in the fence. As Bill
watched the ewe struggle, he dropped his pants, fell to his knees and mounted
the sheep. When he finished he turned to Al and said, “Why don’t you try some of
that?” Al said, “Ok!” and dropped his pants, fell to his knees and stuck his
head in the fence.
IDIOTS & RETAILI
IDIOTS & RETAILI was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
Yo momma is so whatever
Editor’s Note: We get so many yo momma jokes that I decided to group them. Keep checking back, this is likely to grow. And some of these might get their own category some day.—-when yo momma was born her ma said “”wow! what a treasure!”” and yo dad said “”ya lets bury it!””yo momma is so skinny she swallowed a marble and looked 6 months preganantyo momma is so special she could be in the special olympicsyo momma’s so small she committed suicide by jumping of the curb!yo moma so short that she plays hide-and-seek in the grassyo moma so small i told her to do something creative with her life and she climbed over a speed bump.Yo mamma is so cross-eyed that she sits in the front porch to watch the kids play in the backyard.
What do you get if…
Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: Chelsea.