Author: admin

Sports Conclusions

Posted on by admin

Read the following statements and the amazing
conclusion:

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is

Basketball.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level

employees is Bowling.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers

is Football.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is

Baseball.

5. The sport of choice for middle management

is Tennis.

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers

is Golf.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you are in the corporate structure,

the smaller your balls become.

Hombre inteligente + mujer inteligente

Posted on by admin

Hombre inteligente + mujer inteligente = Romance

Hombre inteligente + mujer tonta = Amor�o

Hombre tonto + mujer tonta = Embarazo

Hombre tonto + mujer inteligente = Boda

Jefe inteligente + empleado inteligente = Utilidades

Jefe inteligente + empleado tonto = Productividad

Jefe tonto + empleado inteligente = Ascenso

Jefe tonto + empleado tonto = Horas Extras

In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked…

Posted on by admin

In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked readers to dream up new
elements for the Periodic Table. Among the best of the batch:

Limbaughium (Lb) – The heaviest known element. It possesses an
ever-expanding mass. Very white. Acidic. Emits heat but no
light. Instantly polarizes all elements that come in contact with
it. Repels protons and electrons; attracts only morons.

Billclintium (Bc) – With a slick appearance and slimy texture, this
element undergoes a series of interesting changes when in hot water.

Canadium (Eh) – Similar to Americium, but a little denser. Much more
rigid. Often called Boron.

Innofensium (Pc) – Precisely equal numbers of electrons, protons,
neutrons, leptons, quarks. Completely inert, utterly useless, but
smells like a rose.

Newtium (Nt) – Extreme irritant. Carries a strong negative
charge. Does not possess magnetic properties. Can be purchased
cheaply.

Quaylium (Vp) – Einsteinium it ain’t.

Budweisium (Ps) – Has no taste or smell; is often indistinguishable
from water.

Cabmium (Cb) – Found in abundance, except when needed. Exists in two
states, in motion and at rest. When in motion, it cannot be stopped,
no matter what you do. Cabmium has a charge associated with it. The
charge is variable, and scientists have not determined the formula
for calculating it.

Politicium (Po) – Contains a great deal of gas. Similar to radon in
that it can reach lethal concentrations in the House.

Congress (Cg) – Atomic number 525. Can never be found in a solution.

Snot (Sn) – Bonds forever with corduroy.

Kryptonite (S) – Kills Superman. That’s it. That’s all it does.

Cherry Potty

Posted on by admin

A little boy was playing by a pond when he saw a Port-A-Potty. Feeling mischievous, he tipped it over into the pond, and ran all the way home. At dinner, his father told the story of how George Washington chopped down the cherry tree. Feeling incredibly guilty, the little boy ‘fessed up and told his father about what had happened. Soon, the boy was spanked, and how! “Wait, dad! What’s going on? I told you the truth!””Yes, you did. But George Washington’s dad wasn’t in the tree when he chopped it down!”