Here’s a list of camps you may NOT want to send your kids to:
Tommy Lee’s Camp Kick chick
Monica Lewinsky’s Camp Suckaweewee
President Clinton’s Camp Getahoochie
Ellen Degeneracy�s Camp Lickacoochie
Kenneth Star’s Camp Catch crook
O.J. Simpson’s Camp Kill chick
Lorena Bobbit’s Camp Cutaweewee
Tonya Harding’s Camp Club knee
Susan Smith’s Camp Blameabrotha
Pamela Lee’s Camp Litigates.
Author: admin
Grandma Comes To Visit
The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”
The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that my dear?” she asked.
The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again.”
The Psychiatric Hotline
“Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.”
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
Why wasnt Jesus born in
Why wasnt Jesus born in LA?
They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
This guy was walking on the beach. As he…
This guy was walking on the beach. As he was walking he saw a woman with no
arms and no legs laying by the shoreline. While he began to walk past her she
called him over..”Excuse me sir but can you come here for a sec.” “ok , what
do you want”he said. “Well as you can see why, I’ve never been kissed before
do you think you can kiss me”she said. “Well alright, I guess” he replied.
After he kissed her he began to walk away, but once again she called him
over..”Excuse me sir but do you think you can come here again” “What is it
now!…”he said as he walked near her again. “Well as you can see why, I’ve
never been fucked before..Do you think you can fuck me?”. she said. The man
replied “Sure!”. He picked her up tossed her in the ocean and said “Your
fucked Now!!!”
Aussie And All Black
An Aussie bloke is having a quiet drink in a bar and leans over to the big guy next to him and says, ‘Do you wanna hear a Kiwi joke?
The big guy replies, ‘Well mate, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 1.90 m tall, 125 kg and I played as a forward for the All Blacks.”
“The guy next to me is 1.85 m, weighs 115 kg and he’s an ex-All Black lock.”
“Next to him is a bloke who’s 2 m tall, weighs 120 kg and he’s a current All Black second rower. Now do you still want to tell that Kiwi joke?”
The first bloke says, “Nah, not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”
blonde jokes…
blonde jokes
Burlesque Show
The kid ran out of the burlesque show.
The doorman grabbed him and asked what is the matter.
The kid said, “My Mama told me if I looked at anything bad I’d turn to stone…. and I can feel it starting!”
Lawyer’s club
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.”It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us.”The boss screamed: “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers–we had $100 when we broke in!”
A Smith & Wesson beats
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
Knock Knock 82
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hardy!
Hardy who?
Hardy ha ha!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Harlow!
Harlow who?
Harlow will you go!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Harmon!
Harmon who?
Harmon on your side!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Harold!
Harold who?
Harold are you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Harriet!
Harriet who?
Harriet it up!
Dear Old Dad
Q: What did Saddam Hussein have in common with his father?
A: Neither knew when to pull out!