What’s an atheist’s favorite Christmas movie?
“Coincidence on 34th Street”
Author: admin
On a New York convalescent home:…
On a New York convalescent home:
“For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.”
Q: How many supply-siders
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.Note: “Supply-siders” were the force behind Reagan’s early reforms, and their economic theories were just like those of Thatcher (only the Thatcherites were more extreme). They believed that if they shifted the focus of government economic policy to stimulating supply rather than demand, the business cycle would be stopped at an agreeable point and inflation would be permanently whipped. Obviously, it didn’t quite work out that way.)
Something’s Fishy
Your mama is SO STUPID, she tried to DROWN a FISH!!
Your mam is SO POOR, I went outside to use an outhouse and she said,”Hey, get outta my home!”
Your mama is SO STUPID, when she took an IQ test in school, it came back saying SORRY; IQ TOO LOW TO REGISTER.
Doctor’s visit
“Doctor, I’d like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son.” “OK: He’s most likely
suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder,
punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full
recovery.” “How can you say all that without even meeting him?” “I thought you
said he’s 13?”
Still Celebrating!
The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar.”Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?” The husband looked over and nodded.”Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!” The husband returned to his meal. “Nonsense,” he said, “even that’s not worth so much celebrating!”
What denomination?
A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
“What Denomination?” Asked the clerk.
“Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman.
“Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!
Un hombre entra a su
Un hombre entra a su restaurante favorito, y se sienta en la mesa de siempre. Da una mirada a su alrededor y descubre a una hermosa mujer en una mesa cercana. Estaba completamente sola. El tipo llama al mozo y le indica enviar a la mujer la botella del Merlot m�s caro que tuvieran, adivinando que si la mujer aceptaba la botella se rendir�a a sus pies. El mozo lleva la botella a la mesa de la mujer:
“Esto es de parte del caballero de aquella mesa” dice, se�alando al hombre. La mujer mira la botella con frialdad durante un segundo, y decide enviarle una nota al hombre. Se la da al mozo, y el mozo la entrega al destinatario.
La nota dec�a:
“Para que yo acepte esta botella, Usted deber�a tener un Mercedes en su garaje, un mill�n de d�lares en �l Banco y 20 cm. en sus pantalones.”
Despu�s de leer la nota, el hombre decide contestar. Le da una nota al mozo para que la entregue a la mujer. La nota dec�a:
“Para deleitar su petici�n, podr�a vender mi Ferrari Modena 360 y mi BMW 850 iL y quedarme s�lo con el Mercedes 600 SEL en mi garaje. Podr�a tambi�n invertir o donar doce de los trece millones de d�lares en mi cuenta. Pero… ni por una mujer tan bella como usted me cortar�a cinco cent�metros!
P.D: Env�eme la botella de vuelta.
If you want to get
If you want to get along, go along.
Clinton said that his relationship
Clinton said that his relationship with Monica was inappropriate, in fact
it was wrong.
What’s the difference between inappropriate and wrong. Well,
inappropriate is like wearing black shoes with brown pants. Wrong is
wearing black shoes and no pants.
Poetry
There once was a very old man,
whose verses no one could scan.
And when they asked, “Why?”
he said, “I don’t know, I
“just put too many words in the last line, I guess.”
�Qu� le dijo un globo
�Qu� le dijo un globo a otro globo?
I globe you.
�Qu� le dijo un guante a otro guante?
I guant you.
�Qu� le dijo un foco a otro foco?
I fuck you.