She had it bronzed.
Author: admin
Transit Company
Group that complains of bad business when all
passengers get a seat.
Artichoke
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Artichoke.
Artichoke who?
Artie chokes when he eats too fast.
Question and answer Clinton joke
Q: What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in?A: Handcuffs.
Blessed is he who has
Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it for he shall enjoy living.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Adlai!Adlai who?Adlai a
Knock KnockWho’s there?Adlai!Adlai who?Adlai a bet on that!
Speeding Ticket
A blonde female police officer stops a blonde female for speeding and says, “You were going pretty fast. I am going to have to ask to see your license.”
The blonde motorist digs through her purse and then looks up at the officer, and says, “Can you tell me what it looks like?”
The officer replies, “It’s rectangular and has your picture on it.”
The blonde motorist digs through her purse some more and finds a small rectangular makeup mirror, looks at it and then hands it to the officer.
The officer looks at the mirror for a moment and says, “You can go. I didn’t know you were a cop. “
Bubba’s secret
A bunch of guys are sitting at the local bar. They get pretty drunk, and the
topic turns to Bubba at the end of the bar who, as everyone knows, has the
biggest dick in town. One of the guys gets enough courage to go up to Bubba and
ask him why he’s got the biggest schlong around.
�Well,� says Bubba, �every night before bed, I tug on my dick and tap it on
the bedpost three times.�
�That’s it?� asks the drunk.
�Yup,� says Bubba.
So the guy goes home and quietly slips into his bedroom, pulls out his thing,
tugs, and taps it on the bedpost three times. Suddenly his wife wakes up and
says, �Bubba, is that you?�
Mouse Adventure (sick)
Once upon a time, there was a mouse family that lived in a bathroom. One day, the youngest mouse went out to get some cheese. His mother and father decided to stay in the bathroom. The mouse returned almost an hour later. His parents asked him what took so long. The mouse said, “Well first, I accidentaly fell into a lake. Then there was rain followed by thunder. I would have died if it hadn’t been for a brown log that was floating around!”
Strict Sex Schedule
A young couple was married and they were having sex all the time during their
honeymoon, but when the honeymoon was over they had to adjust their sex schedule
to their work schedule.
So every day the husband would get home at 5 o’clock, and every day they would
go to bed at 5:15. In the door at 5, in the sack at 5:15. This went on for
months, never missing a day until the wife came down with the flu and went to
the doctor to get a flu shot.
The shot killed all the germs inside her except for three, and these three
germs were huddled together inside her body talking over their survival plans.
One germ said, “I’m going to hide between two toes on her left foot, I don’t
think the antibiotics will find me there.”
A second exclaimed, “I am going to hide behind her right ear, I don’t think
they’ll find me there.”
The last germ said, “I don’t know about you guys, but when that 5:15 pulls out
tonight, I’m goanna be on it!”
3 Great Sons
There are three Jewish mothers bragging about their sons. The first one says “My son is very successful. He is the best lawyer in New York City.” The second one says “My son has done better than that. He is the best Doctor in New York City.” The third one says “My son has not done that well. He does not have a very good job, and he is homosexual. But he has these two great boyfriends….One is the best lawyer in New York City, and the other is the best doctor in the city.”
The Pope and the Rams
What do the Pope and the Rams both appearing in the St. Louis Trans World Dome have in common?
They both feature 3 million people saying ‘Jesus Christ!’