Author: admin

One day a little boy went up to his mother and asked her, “Mom how old are you”? all she said was oh you dont need to know that right now. So the little boy aked another question.”Mom how much do you weight”? Again she said you dont need to know that right know that right now. So then the little boy asked “Mommie why did you and dad get a divorce”? And her responce was the same. The next day the little boy came up to his mom again and say oh mommie I found your drivers licence. I know how much you weight now. The mother asked how much and the little boy said 150. Then he said and i know how old you are. your 45. Then he said and i now know why you and daddy got a divorce. She said oh ya. He said because you got an F in sex!

El tortugo le dice a la tortuga: “oye vieja, v�monos de pic-nic �o.k.?”

“Est� bien viejito, y te har� esas tortas con aguacate que tanto te gustan.”

Y salen las dos tortugas con una lentitud tremenda en busca de un lugar apropiado.

Al cabo de una semana localizan un lugar pero a la turtuga no le gusta, y siguen caminando lentamente, paso a paso, hasta que por fin cuatro meses despu�s se quedan en el lugar perfecto.

“Ay viejita, con la caminata ya me di� hambre, saca las tortas de aguacate para comer �no?”

“Ay viejito, �qu� crees?, se me olvidaron los aguacates, pero si quieres nos comemos las tortas as�.”

“Pero t� sabes que yo no me puedo comer esas tortas sin aguacates, mejor me voy a regresar por los aguacates a la casa, pero te esperas a que yo regrese �eh?, no te las vayas a comer.”

“Pero c�mo crees que no te voy a esperar, si yo tampoco me comer�a una torta sin aguacate.”

“Yo te conozco como eres de comelona… yo te conozco, pero en fin ir� por los aguacates.”

Y pasa una semana, un mes, dos meses, cuatro meses, cinco meses.

“Ay, yo ya tengo mucha hambre y mi viejito no regresa… yo me voy a comer las tortas porque ya no aguanto.”

Y cuando le iba a dar la mordida a la torta, sale el tortugo detr�s de un matorral…

“�Ejele, si la muerdes no voy por los aguacates…!”

There were three golfers.One golfer hit the ball and it went in the water. He walked over to the edge and stuck his golf club into the water. The water parted and the golfer hit his ball onto the green.The second golfer hit his ball. It also splashed into the water. The golfer walked onto the water, found his the ball, placed it next to the water hazard and hit it onto the green.As you may have guessed, the first golfer was Moses, and the second golfer was Jesus.The third teed off. The ball soared through the air and it too was headed for the water. However, just before the ball went in the water, a fish jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth. As the fish was about to go back into the water, a eagle grabbed the fish and started to fly away. Then, as the eagle flew over the green a big flash of lightning hit the eagle. Well, the eagle dropped the fish and as the fish fell on the green, the ball rolled out of his mouth and into the hole.Then Jesus shouted, “Dad! If you do that again,I’m going to stop inviting you to play golf with us!”