So tell me Mrs. Lincoln, besides all that, how was the show?
Author: admin
It’s the same thing!
There was a new girl in school, when asked her name, she replied “Happy-Butt”. When hearing this, the teacher said, “Go straight to the principal young lady.” At that, she went to the principal.
He asked her why she was in the office, and she said “The teacher sent me hear so you can find out my real name.” He said “well, what is your name?” she said “My name is Happy-Butt” He said “That’s not a name, I’m looking it up in the computer RIGHT NOW!”
So he looks in the computer, and he says “it lists here that your name is Gladys.” She said “Exactly, Happy-Butt, Glad-Ass… SAME THING!”
Complaints of Married People
Why are complaints of married people like the noise of the waves on the shore?
Because they are murmurs of the tied.
Telling a tale of WWII
There was a fundraising event being held in the local RSA by the local Women’s Auxiliary, and the organisers had arranged for Ireland’s most decorated WWII pilot to speak to the assembled ladies. He started telling the story of a mission over France and how they were being strafed by German fire. ” I looked out in front of me” he said ” and there was three fokkers in front, and then I looked behind me, and there was three fokkers behind me, and then I looked above me, and there was two fokkers above, and then I looked below me, and there was four fokkers below” Just then the organiser, thinking that the ladies might misunderstand, and assume the ex-pilot was swearing jumped up and said “For all those who don’t know, the Fokker was a plane used by the Germans during the war” and the Irish pilot said “Yeah, but these Fokkers were Messerschmidts”
Poor Old Mexico
Q: How do you find the population of Mexico?
A: Throw a penny on the ground.
Q: How do you find the richest person in Mexico?
A: See who picks it up.
Hank's Beard
Best friends, Vinnie and Hank, are in their local bar, having a few drinks. Vinnie leans over and starts stroking Hank’s beard. Vinnie says, “Your face feels just like my wife’s pussy.” Hank strokes it himself and says, “Ya, you’re right!”
Q: How many light
Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a Soviet emigre?A: One, if you aim well.
Dressed to Kill
My wife dresses to kill . . . and cooks the same way!
What has four legs and a trunk?…
What has four legs and a trunk?
A mouse on a vacation.
Ya mommas
ya mommas so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone
Musicians use the rhythm method….
Musicians use the rhythm method.
Baseball
why did the baseball player make so much money
because a good batter makes good dough