Author: admin

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved enough money, so he goes down to the dealer. After he picks up the perfect bike, the dealer tells him about an old biker trick that will keep the chrome on his new bike free from rust.

The dealer tells him that all he has to do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains and everything will be fine. He happily pays for the bike and leaves.

After a couple of months he meets a lady and she asks him to take her home to meet her parents over dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents’ house.

Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to speak and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long 15 minutes the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses the girl in front of her family. No one says a word.

Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. No one says a word. Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. No one says a word.

By now he is thinking of what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline.

And the father shouts, ‘Okay damn it, I’ll do the dishes.’

10. Being told to ‘Think outside the Box’ when you’re in a friggin box all day long.

9. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who’s behind you.

8. Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.

7. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you’ll get a piece of cheese!

6. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.

5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.

4. 23 power cords, 1 outlet.

3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds.

2. When tours come through, you get lots of peanuts thrown at you.

1. You can’t slam the door when you quit and walk out.

Llega un ni�o a la tienda y se dirige al tendero:

“Me da diez pesos de esos dulces que est�n hasta arriba”.

El tipo va por la escalera y la coloca debajo del anaquel; sube por los dulces; baja de la escalera y despacha al peque�o; vuelve a colocar los dulces en el estante; se baja y guarda la escalera. En eso, llega otro chiquillo:

“Me da diez pesos de esos dulces que est�n hasta arriba”.

El hombre va por la escalera y la coloca debajo del anaquel; sube por los dulces; baja de la escalera y despacha al ni�o; vuelve a colocar los dulces en el estante; se baja y guarda la escalera. En cuanto la guarda, llega otro chiquit�n:

“Me da diez pesos de esos dulces que est�n hasta arriba”.

El abarrotero, ya algo molesto, va por la escalera y la coloca debajo del anaquel; sube por los dulces; baja de la escalera y despacha al ni�o; vuelve a colocar los dulces en el estante, cuando ve que se acerca otro ni�o. Esta vez, decide esperar arriba de la escalera y se adelanta al menor:

“�T� tambi�n quieres diez pesos de estos dulces que est�n aqu� arriba?”

“No”, contesta el ni�o.

El hombre deja los dulces en el estante; se baja y guarda la escalera y se dirige al chico:

“�Qu� vas a querer?”

“Yo quiero cinco pesos de esos dulces que est�n hasta arriba”.

Do you know why Mexicans eat refried beans?

– Have you ever heard of one doing something right the first time?

Llega Pepito a la pulper�a y le dice al pulpero:

“Buenas, tiene arroz.”

El pulpero reponde que s� y Pepito le dice:

“Que bien, entonces deme una lata de at�n.”

El pulpero se enoja y le da la lata de at�n. Al sigiente dia llega Pepito de nuevo a la pulper�a y le dice:

“Tiene salsa de tomate.”

El pulpero se dispone a alcanzarla y Pepito le dice:

“Bueno, deme un helado.”

Al tiempo, ya harto el pulpero de Pepito, decide darle las quejas al padre del ni�o.

“Buenas tardes, se�or, le vengo a dar las quejas sobre Pepito.”

Y el padre educadamente le pregunta que fue lo que hizo pepito, y el pulpero le contesta:

“Todos los d�as me llega a molestar a la pulper�a preguntando por un producto y cuando se lo voy a dar me pide otro.”

Y el padre enojado le dice:

“No se preocupe que cuando llegue Pepito de la escuela me quito la faja y le pego UN PATADON!”