Author: admin

One daya maanger of a sales company is interviewing a man who
wants to become an employee in the business. The manager is a
proud owner of a business that has been selling Bibles
successfully for 20 years. The owner receives the next guy into
the office and the interview begins.

Manager: Hello I am the manager to Bibles Inc. Who are you and
why i should hire you?

Guy: M-m-m-y-y n-n-name i-i-i-i-is-s-s F-r-r-r-r-e-e-e-d.
I-i-i-i-i kn-kn-know I-i-i-i-i Stu-stu-stu-stu-tter
al-al-al-alot bu-bu-but pl-pl-pl-please ju-ju-ju-just gi-gi-give
me a-a-a ch-ch-ch-chance.

The Manager knew that this man would be just horrible at this
task in fact he himself felt uncomfortable in Fred’s presence
wanting nearly to get rid of the man. So he thought of a way to
let Fred down without feeling too much guilt. The manager
thought and thought and finally gave in saying:

“Okay i’ll give you one chance”

Fred went off with a dozen Bibles (twice as much as the average
salesman sells) with an air of confidence around him. The
manager looked on as Fred went on thinking “poor kid.”

That night Fred returns and the manager promptly asks him how it
went. Fred beams and shows that every bible is gone. The
manager now with a look of astonishment on his face assumes that
they must have all been stolen. When he asks Fred if they had
been stolen Fred shakes his head in a negative response. The
manager realizes that they must have ALL been sold. Astounded
the Manager asks

“How in the Hell did you sell all these Bibles?”

Fred: “We-we-we-we-well I-i-i-i t-t-t-told th-th-them
th-th-th-that if th-th-they did not wa-wa-want to buy
an-an-an-any. I-i-i-i cou-cou-cou-could re-re-read it t-t-to
th-th-them.

El vendedor de helados regresa muy cansado a su casa y entrega a su esposa el dinero que recaud� en el d�a. La esposa ve el dinero y dice: “Con este dinero nos vamos a morir de hambre. Te apuesto que yo ma�ana reuno mucho m�s.”

Al dia siguiente muy temprano la se�ora sale a la calle con la carretilla de los helados.

Por la noche, la se�ora llega con una gran cantidad de dinero y el se�or asombrado le dice:

“�C�mo le hiciste? �Se ve que vendiste una buena cantidad de helado!

Y la se�ora le responde:

“Pues de lado, boca arriba, boca abajo…”

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has
just passed away. At the end of the service the pallbearers are
carrying the casket out, when they accidentally bump into a wall,
jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman
is actually alive.

She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held
at the same synagogue and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers
are again carrying the casket.

As they are walking out, the husband cries, “Watch out for the wall!”

Entr� la madre de la adolescente a la habitaci�n de �sta y encontr� sobre la cama un consolador de bater�as, doce pulgadas de largo, acr�lico azul semi-transparente, cabeza ancha y suspensi�n reforzada. Angustiada la madre decide, despu�s de mucho pensarlo, enfrentar directamente el tema con su hija.

Cuando �sta llega del colegio le dice:

“Hija, quiero que hablemos de esto (mostr�ndole el consolador). �Puedes explicarme qu� significa?”

“F�cil -dice ella- Tu me has ense�ado que debo tener una sexualidad responsable y por lo mismo he decidido dar satisfacci�n a mi calentura y alboroto hormonal con este consolador que no me contagia de SIDA, no me embaraza, no me rega�a, ni me grita ni me pone los cuernos.”

La madre la mira seriamente, pensando en su interior. Le parece muy l�gico y razonable lo que escuch� y decide dejarla seguir con su consolador. D�as despu�s la hija llega del colegio y al entrar a la sala ve a su madre con un vaso de whisky en una mano y con el consolador en la otra.

La hija la mira aterrada y le exclama:

“!Mam�, �qu� haces con Andrew?” (�por qu� las mujeres le pondr�n nombre a todo?)

La madre que ya est� medio pea, la mira a los ojos y tranquilamente le dice:

“�Qu�, acaso no puedo hecharme unos traguitos con mi yerno?”