Yours Fun Portal !
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Thayer!
Thayer who?
Thayer sorry and I won’t tell teacher!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Thea!
Thea who?
Thea later, alligator!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Thelma!
Thelma who?
Thelma your soul!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Thelonius!
Thelonius who?
Thelonius kid in town!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Theodore!
Thedore who?
Theodore is shut, please open it!
A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company.
One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
“Quick,” said the woman to her lover, “into the closet!”
She bundled him in the closet stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.
“Who are you?” he asked him.
“I’m an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,” said the exterminator.
“What are you doing in there?” the husband asked.
“I’m investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,” the man replied.
“And where are your clothes?” asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said, “Those little bastards.”
Your family’s so poor, when you go to KFC you have to lick other peoples
fingers!
Estaba una se�ora con su hijo de 5 a�os con el ginec�logo y este le dice:
“Debe dejar a su hijo afuera, �l no se puede quedar adentro.”
“No hay problema”, dijo la se�ora, “�l sabe todo, ya se lo hemos aclarado todo.”
El ginec�logo sonr�e y trata de hacer una peque�a prueba con el ni�o. Toma a la se�ora del busto y le pregunta al ni�o qu� es lo que acababa de hacer.
“Acabas de tomar a mi mama del busto”, contesta el peque�o.
El ginec�logo, quiere saber que tanto conoce el ni�o y besa a la se�ora entre las piernas. El ni�o dice:
“Acabas de hacer cunilingus con mi madre.”
El ginec�logo est� impresionado y toma a la madre, la acuesta y le hace el amor. Cuando termina le pregunta al peque��n:
“�Y ahora que diablos acabo de hacer?”
El ni�o contesta:
“�Ahora acabas de contraer s�filis pelotudo!”
Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive.
No further testing is planned.
yo mama so fat, when i screwed her, my penis got lost.
Three doctors are waiting for St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. When he
arrives, he asks the first doctor “Why should you be allowed into heaven?”
The first doctor replied, “I spent my whole career
in medical research and made life better for thousands.”
St. Peter seemed immpressed and said, “C’mon in, you are worthy.”
He then asked the same thing to the second doctor who answered, “I
renounced riches to work with the poor and made lives better for thousands.”
St. Peter again seemed impressed and invited the second doctor inside.
When he asked the third doctor what he had done, the doctor answered, “I
worked for a very large and succcessful HMO.”
St. Peter said to the doctor, “You may enter but you can only stay for three days.”
Don’t worry about the sand in the Vaseline, they don’t use it anyway.
A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager “How much is that new Barbie in the window?”
The Manager replied, “Which one? We have –
‘Barbie goes to the gym’for $19.95 …
‘Barbie goes to the Ball’ for $19.95 …
‘Barbie goes shopping for $19.95 …
‘Barbie goes to the beach’ for $19.95…
‘Barbie goes to the Nightclub’ for $19.95 …
and ‘Divorced Barbie’ for $375.00.”
“Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?” Dad asked surprised.
Simple…”Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s House, Ken’s boat, Ken’s dog, Ken’s cat and Ken’s furniture.”
A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. “yeah, I got me a couple of friends,” the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said,”Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks.”
Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six-pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV.
One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then he left.
The fourth night Frank didn’t drink at all. The doorbell rang. The six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in a heap on the living room floor.
The following day, Frank went to see his doctor. He explained the events of the preceding four nights. “What can I do?” he pleaded.
“Not much,” answered the doctor. “There’s just a nasty bug going around.”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman